This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some parents by their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What type of consequences could this type of parenting have for children as they get old?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
In recent years, many parents provide children with everything they desire for and put no restriction on their activities. In my opinion, such type of up bringing is the worst form of parenting , as it may have detrimental impact on the future of children. I will further strengthen my argument with reasons and examples in the forthcoming paragraphs.
Buying everything for children and allowing them to live their own life are terrible way of parenting because of multiple reasons. Parents are supposed to teach their children about right and wrong, for this they must put some restriction on children. Letting them to do things according to their wish may prone them to indulge in bad activities. Take example of my brother for an illustration, who being youngest in the family is very dear to my parents; parents never put any restriction on him, consequently, he left school and also involved in drug addiction. Moreover, the habit of providing everything to children may put parents in deep trouble in future , because children expenses like education, tuition increase with age and it might be impossible for parents to buy expensive things in future. In line with this arguments , it proves that bringing up children in this way is sub standard way of parenting.
It certainly will has detrimental impacts on children latter in their life. On first place , children are fascinated by wrong doings and without any check and balance they are more incline towards bullying, delinquencies, and truancy , ultimately lead to poor performance in academics. Another serious ramification lies in the destruction of personality. Since ,children develop habit of buying everything but later in life it may be impossible for them to get the desired things, which evoke the sense of deprivation and inferiority.On the basis of it, one can say that this style of parenting has significant drawbacks.
To conclude , the aforementioned arguments prove that providing children with every good and allowing them to do whatever they want are not only the worst style of parenting but also have profound impacts on future of children
(348Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – a relevant introduction (but shouldn’t it be “have provided”?). Para 2 is excellent but there is an ‘imbalance’ in the essay as your response to the second part of the question isn’t as fully developed. An examiner will frown at this// CC – there’s enough cohesion to balance the conjunctions you use// LR – this is borderline. The vocabulary is appropriate for the topic but I’d like more carrier nouns to ‘signal’ and there isn’t a lot of strong collocation (expensive things/bad activities – slapped wrist for that)// G – this is the area that is holding you back. Articles are a problem and. combined with careless slips, most sentences have an error. And, as Favian has pointed out there are clumsy/incorrect sentences too (prone?). So you use some complex sentence patterns yet you are erratic on basic points. No passive or conditional sentences?
So, I’d say:
//TA – 7 (could easily be 6 because of the imbalance)
// CC – 7 (but I had to think about it)// LR – 7 (very close to 6)
// G – 6
//Overall = 7.0 (but 6,5 wouldn’t surprise me). You need as much exposure to native speaker language use as possible (or a few 121 lessons with me shouting at you) – so read, read & read as well as listening.”IELTS” Language Practice – Vince & French (Macmillan) might help too.
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