This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Companies use major sports events to promote their products. Some say this has negative effects on sports in general.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Nowadays, many organisations spend enormous amount of money on sports events in order to boost the sales of their products. It is argued that this approach has many adverse ramifications on the integritiy of sports. I strongly disagree with the aforementioned school of thought owing to the importance of this financial assistance not only in promotion of healty recreational activities but also for the encouragement of sportsmen.
Undeniably, well-known international brands have been sponsoring sport events since ages. This is to say that without this financial support, it is practicaly impossible to organize such events for masses. For example, IPL (Indian Premier League) was initiated with the money provided by Pepsico corporation in India. Now, this event has promoted Cricket on global level. Therefore, it is clear that there is no negative impact of the investments in sports by companies.
In addition to this, the world has got incredible players whose popularity took birth after their participation in such sponsored events. To explain more, corporations shoulder the burden of all the expenditures required during the upbringing of the amazing players we have. For instance, Cristiano Ronaldo came in the eyes of the authorities during one of such sponsored events. Consequently, he is representing Portugal on international grounds. He has also promoted football in the streets of Portugal. Hence, it is evident by this illustration that this financial support has always been beneficial for sports.
To conclude, after analyzing the above arguments, it is my firm opinion that this approach has no negative impacts on sports. It is recommended for governments to regulate this.
(260Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – a good response but it’s a little naive to say there are no problems. The final sentence of the conclusion goes against the rest of the essay and requires explanation. That one sentence has probably cost you a band And your intro is a bit confusing so impacts on CC,// CC – “Consequently, he is representing Portugal on international grounds.” is too ‘abrupt’. cohesion is good but the paragraphs don’t seem to ‘flow’. I feel para 2 needs a closing sentence// LR – I can’t ignore a couple of spelling slips. “shoulder the burden” is great but ” during the upbringing” isn’t. Nor is “came in the eyes of “. “international grounds” can have more than one meaning// G – article slips are too frequent to ignore and there are a couple of other basic errors. Your sentences are mainly fairly short statements. Passive (other than “it is recommended”?). Conditionals? Participle clauses? Are you aiming for 9?//
So, I’d say:
//TA – 7
//CC – 7 (the potential for 8+0
//LR – 8 (a bit generous but I suppose the spelling errors are typos)
//G – 7 (but 8 is possible if you have a slapdash examiner)
//Overall = 7.0 (I have been conservative so 7,5 is possible but I hope you can see what is necessary to hit 9 – either greater care/proofreading or guidance from a native-speaker or very experienced teacher.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
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