This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
In the past two decades, the role of women in society has changed remarkably. While this being a good sign of gender equality, some believes that this has a negative effect on children.
Nowadays, women are career-oriented. With time their dreams have changed, so as their priorities. There is a growing urge among women to contribute to the society. Furthermore, this is not just confined within single women but also married ones. Most of the families now have working father as well as mother. Seeing this, a child can find inspiration. In addition to that, he or she will learn to understand & appreciate the effort his or her mother puts in. This also helps the young people in building respect towards women. For example, in my childhood, my mother had spent most of her time behind her studies. Although I wished she could have accompanied me more, but eventually as I grew older, I understood why she could not. She is a doctor who dedicated her life to serve humanity. Needless to say, she has a busy life. However, I was well brought up. Despite having a hectic life, my mother ensured that I grow up to be a good person.
On the other hand, a child of a working mother can turn into a negligent person. This can only happen in certain circumstances, for instance, when a mother misses her kid’s sports day in school or she doesn’t keep her promise of buying a particular gadget, etc. These situations can transform the teenagers into an undisciplined & irresponsible person. Moreover, the child won’t even try to comprehend the efforts of his or her mother and thus end up being a spoiled individual.
I personally believe a woman’s road to a successful career does not pave the way for juvenile delinquency, provided that she can balance both sides of life; family and work.
(311Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
Do you feel there needs to be a thesis statement in the introduction? TA – what is the purpose of paragraph 2? How does it relate to the question? You make the reader work hard. More carrier nouns to signal would help. Para 3 also doesn’t explore the question in depth. Why don;t you mention the role of fathers and/or grandparents?// CC – this is difficult to assess as there is a balance of cohesion with basic conjunctions but the writing doesn’t ‘flow’. It lacks a sense of development// LR – don’t use “kids” in formal writing. There is adequate strong collocation and language like “pave the way” is excellent. But there is also some inappropriate word choice// G – with more care or proofreading your use of grammar could achieive a high band. But here there are too many basic slips (the introduction, for example), including articles.
So, I’d say;
//TA – 6
// CC – 6 (a bit strict?)
// LR – 8 (slightly generous?)
// G – 7.
//Overall = 7.0.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
- IELTS Mock Test British Council
- Overall Band Score Calculator
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