This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
The world has witnessed that capital punishment is significantly declining the crime rate in the societies. Draw backing from death penalty can make a society destabilized and the implementation of such penalties are considered inevitable to regulate violence in the society. The consequences of this shall be discussed in this essay to support my contention that why I am in agreement on the provided premise.
Firstly, the societies have experienced that infringement of laws always cause the disruption and destruction of the societies. Furthermore, the non stop outbreak of these inadequate actions can lead to supplement the crime ratio and can make people more secure about their lives consequently, society would the victim of turbulence. For example, latest survey reports revealed that the Spanish’s state has started to represent referendum of a separate country because the culprit of the minister death was left without getting his punishment. It was utterly unethical that’s why local people of the state started disruptive movements
Secondly, the implementation of such laws has many fruitful benefits for the survival of any society. Moreover, if the culprits are punished according to their offenses then the people feel satisfaction that they have taken their revenges. The fear of death penalties hinder people from committing offences before participating in any criminal activity. To illustrate this latest world peace report demonstrated that the China is the most peaceful country on the planet because in this country people do not have any fear of losing their life . Their people are punished according to their faulty actions.
In conclusion, it is obvious under the aforementioned discussion; I affirm and submit that the death penalties are mandatory to maintain peaceful circumstances in societies and to make people’s lives more secure.
(286Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – your response is far too general. I am not sure what you are trying to say in para 2. Where are the “reasons and relevant examples” that TA for T2 requires. The Spanish example is a political issue and China can never be regarded as a ‘typical’ example for anything It is not even clear if anyone was actually arrested for Therefore, your conclusion is not “obvious”. There are strong arguments against the death penalty that you don’t touch on// CC – you rely on ‘mechanical’ conjunctions (firstly/secondly/moreover/furthermore) but there is also use of cohesion// LR – there is a lot of strong collocation but it isn’t all related to the central issue of the question. Parul has noted other inappropriate word choice (but word form is a G error so not penalised in LR)// G- the introduction immediately limits your band because of 2 article errors ( “declining” is your ‘worst’ LR error). “agreement ON”?
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6
// CC – 7 (close to 6)
// LR – 8 (the potential for 9 with more thought)
// G – 7 (very close to 8)
//Overall = 7.0.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
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