This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for examples working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
A lot of people think community services should be included in high school programs as mandatory. Given that high school holds an important impact on every student’s life, i completely agree with the given statement.
In the current era of technology and gadgets, education has got a lot easier to access. But at the same time, it has made student life a lot more complex with various source of distractions. For example, availability of smart phones and internet connection on the go, made learning and acquiring knowledge easy through different portals along with making people social in virtual world. However this also made people isolated and unsocial in real life. The scenario is prevailing more among the students who spend idle time after school-hour and even procrastinate their given tasks. Spending hours with video gaming consoles is one of the common scenarios among students now-a-days.
In light of the above mentioned situations, inclusion of mandatory community works in school curriculum will ensure proper utilization of time of each student, in guiding and structuring their lives in a productive way. Comminity works will not only give them the sense of responsibility but also allow them to explore their true potential in providing services to the comminity. As in, working with a charitable organization (among many other community services), provides a bigger picture of life to students which they might fail to explore through their tech-oriented life. Leadership, team works, socializing, networking, exploring teaching capabilities, building rapports etc are some of the many positive outcomes of community works.
In conclusion, community services render opportunities to understand ‘life’ in its true meaning. Making the services mandatory for students will be nothing but remarkable.
(277Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
Would a thesis statement help in the introduction? How much of paragraph 2 is necessary? The result is a very general response to the question and para 3 gives a sense of being “rushed”. What is the point of writing ” Leadership, team works, socializing, networking, exploring teaching capabilities, building rapports etc are some of the many positive outcomes of community works.”? It’s list so will not contribute to, and may even weaken, TA, CC & G. It’s the sort of thing a native speaker who hasn’t prepared for IELTS would do, having forgotten it’s a test of English. There’s a lot more that could be said about the subject that you have overlooked. To a native speaker the last sentence of the conclusion means that you don’t think the suggestion is ever going to become reality. Why not?// CC – this is difficult to assess (as is TA) because the writing certainly ‘flows’ but them lack of signalling (only one “traditional” carrier noun)// LR – can you spot the spelling slip? Rapport” is uncountable (a G error)// G – there are some missing “s”s. Only 1 article error! But no use of the passive, no conditionals & not much use of modals, 1 participle clause, no inversion or cleft sentences// This is an excellent piece of writing but how do I match it to the marking criteria. The ‘list’ in para 3 suggests to the examiner you don’t understand the purpose of IELTS.
So, I’d say (but an examiner might interpret the essay differently):
//TA – 6 (there is so much more that could be said & para 2 might be considered as off topic)
//CC – 7 (para 2 is excellent but it is so tangential to the question it might even be
memorised)
//LR – 7 (9 but for the spelling & nowadays is one word)
//G – 7 (a few too many minor errors – but 8n is possible)
//Overall= 7.0 (but easily 7.5+ with more care in LR & G).
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
- IELTS Mock Test British Council
- Overall Band Score Calculator
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