This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Traffic Jam is a problem in many towns and cities. People believe that this can be solved by making the roads wide. Do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Traffic congestion has become a major issue in many townships and metropolis. Some people argue that this problem can be best solved by making the roads wider, however, I believe that other measures like better public transport system is more effective in dealing with the traffic issues, and the reasons of my inclination shall be elucidated in the succeeding paragraphs.
The solution of a problem can be decided by understanding the causes of the problem first, so, it makes sense to describe as to what causes the traffic jams in cities. Traffic congestion is directly proportional to the number of vehicles on the road and majority of them are personal cars and bicycles which people use to commute to their desired destinations. Individuals prefer to travel in their personal vehicles because of its convenience and comfortability. Moreover, lack of comfortable public transport encourages them to choose their personal vehicles which in turn leads to more vehicles on the roads. I, for example, travel by my own car to office and most of my friends travel for 50 kms a day to reach office and all of them use their own cars.
Looking at the above reasons, many people claim that wider roads would lead to less congestion as there will be more space on the roads to accommodate more vehicles. However, I feel that better and comfortable public transport system is the best solution for this. Firstly, because if there are more frequent buses and trains between routes, people will choose them over their cars. Secondly, if they are cheaper and more comfortable, it will encourage people to opt for it as it will help them save some money which they otherwise will be spending on fuel. As more and more people will choose to travel in buses and trains, it will not only help in reducing traffic but also in reduction of pollution. Most of my friends living in Delhi prefer to travel in Metro trains as they find them comfortable and faster.
In conclusion, traffic congestion is a serious issue which should be tackled carefully. As many suggest widening of roads as a way to solve this, I’m strongly convinced that increasing the number and frequency of buses and trains is a more viable solution.
(374Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – the paraphrase in the introduction is inadequate. It’s too similar to the original. You deal with the question well but specific examples are needed to convince the reader// The ‘linking; in para 2 is excellent but “firstly/secondly” in para 3 intrudes. There is also quite a lot of repetition of words in para 2, isn’t there?// LR – the limited range of vocabulary detracts from LR. “personal vehicle” isn’t a strong collocation & “tackled carefully” isn’t ‘right’. You use language effectively & my comments are to help. I’m not going to give 8 to anyone who uses “elucidation” until they can show me an example of contemporary native speaker use// G – 2 very minor slips in the introduction?. Why use 2 1st conditional sentences in consecutive sentences in para 3? That weakens your performance. It’s such a pity there are noticeable problems with articles that have to limit the band
So, I’d say:
//TA – 8
// CC – 7 (8)
// LR – 7
// G – 7
//Overall = 7.0 (7.5 wouldn’t surprise me – and would please me).
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