This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Traffic jams are a problem in some towns and cities. Some people think that building wider roads will solve the issue.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Nowadays, traffic congestion is one of the major issues in some townships and metropolis. It is often argued by people that developing wide road networks is the possible remedy of traffic jams. I agree on first statement and disagree in the second premise. I will further discuss and elaborate the details and reasons in the succeeding paragraphs for better illumination of my opinion, followed by a conclusion.
Traffic congestion is one of the major issues in some areas because every individual is using his own private car to reach his destination. This is because of the fact that when people utilize their own private vehicles, they always prefer to commute in it due to its comfortability and convenience. This is resulting to massive traffic jams on roads, because adequate number of cars are moving on major roads. For example, a recent survey was conducted in 2016 by scientists in the major cities of the world, and their results were clearly showing that every adult owns private car in urban area, and if there are four young adults living in one home, they probably have four cars parked in their garage. This example clearly shows that private car ownership is the major agent playing vital role in traffic blockades. Thus, some stringent steps should be taken by legislative authorities to mitigate the situation.
Conversely, some people contend that developing wider road networks will definitely end traffic issues, but this solution is temporary way forward as it is not long lasting solution. State authorities should provide alternate plausible solutions to counter traffic jams. To be more precise, establishing mass transit system and subways in metropolis will minimize the load of cars on roads. Consequently, every citizen prefer smooth journey, and if government is providing them safest and fastest means of transportation, general public will not consider their own vehicles for their trips. For instance, Swiss government has reduced 65% cars from their roads, and this was achieved after development of bullet train stations in city and subways. This shows that alternate methods can be adopted to counter traffic issues.
In conclusion, in light of above argument, I strongly subscribe to the former premise that traffic jams is issue in some rural and urban areas because people prefer to travel in their own cars, and I disagree with second statement wide roads will end traffic issue because it is short term solution. It is recommended that state should construct mass transit system and modern railways for citizens.
(411Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
I haven’t looked at any of the other comments. TA – why do you agree with “the first statement”? That isn’t the question. It’s a given fact. Agree “on/in”? Why do you need a ‘conclusion’ if you are going to discuss & elaborate your reasons? Surely, a summary is more appropriate. So you have got the examiner worried before starting the main body. Yet this is a really good answer (if I forgive you for agreeing with the question in the introduction & conclusion!)// CC – I don’t understand why you begin para 3 with “Conversely”. . You use “this”a lot (what about using a participle clause?// LR – ” comfortability”?// G- articles! Articles! Articles! And you use present continuous tense a lot, which I suppose is first language interference. There are a few very minor slips
So, I’d say:
//TA – 8
// CC – 7
// LR – 8
// G – 7
//Overall = 7,5.
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