This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Violence among young people has increased dramatically over the past 50 years. This rise moves in tandem with the growth in violent media. Thus the conclusion can be drawn that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people. Do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
We live in an era, where crimes and intolerance is highly prevalent in teenagers. This behaviour is on the uptrend from for t from the past many years. It is strongly agreed upon that violence shown on the media is the cornerstone to this. Analyzing both the violence trend followed by youngsters shown in movies and the popularity of such films in young generation will illustrate this.
To begin with, it is widely accepted that any crime committed by an adolescent or young adult usually has a background of inspiration from Dramas or Documentaries or other stuff etc. such type of aggressive attitude shown on media serves as a nurseries for learning new tactics of breaking law and to escape it. Thus the actors in the movies act as a mentors to commit crimes for the highly prone mind of the aforementioned age group.
Having said that, there are many surveys which clearly illustrate that any mode of entertainment, if having a content of agitation, fight, killing etc will be tremendously rated by young lads. A violent movie shown in a cinema can easily have all these things. This notion can further be supported by the average number of films displayed in a theatre per day which easily outnumberoutnumbers movies based on social welfare etc.
To sum up, it is beyond any doubt that media has escalated the crime rate in a very short period of time. If unchecked, the violent media may bring further disasterous trends to the young population.
(248Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
The wording of the question is very odd. Where does it come from, please? Is it from an ‘authentic’ source? TA – the response is very general, making assumptions that are not widely believed. It is surprising that you do not deal with the Internet or video games. I don’t actually understand what para 3 is about// CC – suppose there are 4 paragraphs but it is not possible to see this so if you write like this in the exam, CC will be 5. Why “To begin with” & “Having said that” to begin paragraphs? Only 2 sentences in para 2? Carrier nouns would help CC & LR. :Paragraphing is a weak area even though you use cohesion well// LR – there is some collocation but this is overshadowed by word combinations that a native speaker wouldn’t use (violence trend/young generation/ a background of inspiration/actors in the movies act as a mentors /things/highly prone mind /stuff/films displayed in a theatre/tremendously rated by young lads/agitation)// G – a good range of grammar patterns with no serious errors and very few slips. It is the odd word choice that makes the essay difficult to read
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6
// CC – 7 (5 if 3 paragraphs)
//LR – 6
// G – 8
//Overall = 7.0 (or 6.0).
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
- IELTS Writing Task 1
- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
- IELTS Mock Test British Council
- Overall Band Score Calculator
Thanks ! for reading the full article about IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer .we care about our students. We will be providing free mock test feature which will beneficial in near future. The mock test system will be launched soon . Navigate to Mock Test.
If you have any questions regarding our post, get in touch with us through comment section.
