This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
More and more robots carry the task today at home and at work. Do think is it positive or negative development?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Advancements in technology have brought new innovations like robots to our daily routines. Robots are being used on large scale to do the different household tasks and even at workplaces.This situation has a multitude of positive ramifications like accuracy in delicate works and less workforce required to do the heavy jobs.However, this situation has the drawback of affecting the jobs of humans. This essay will discuss both the perspectives, followed by a cogent conclusion.
Robots usually operate through a computer system which guides them to accomplish their target. As a result, the robots are capable of doing the sensitive tasks with more precision as compared to the humans.As computer gives a command for each target and robots do only commanded work which reduces the risks of human error. In addition to this, robots are not affected by factors like hot and cold weather which also gives them a better chance to do sensitive jobs precisely. For example. recently robots have performed the heart surgeries in Japan and the outcomes of these have been better than the surgeries done by humans, as reported by Japenese medical association. Secondly, robots are more powerful than humans. they can do the heavy work quickly and without being tired. One robot is usually capable of the doing the work of 4-5 people. Thus, these advantages show that how robots can bring a positive change in our lives.
On the contrary, as less number of robots are required to do the task of more humans, this deprives the people of their jobs.Consequently, the crime ratio goes higher when people are cannot find the job and are unable to look after themselves and their families. This situation can prove fatal for the human society.
To conclude. in the light of aforementioned arguments, I strongly believe that positive aspects of accuracy and less number required to do a job by robots is more beneficial and a positive development. Thus, it is hoped that usage of robots is encouraged in the future.
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
TA – there’s too much detail in the introduction. What is a “cogent conclusion.”? Para 2 is almost wholly descriptive with very little explanation apart from the final sentence. There is an imbalance in your response as you write much less about the disadvantages, Does this mean you don’t feel there are many drawbacks? The way you link rising crime to automation is not convincing. Overall, your response is far too general// CC – there is only one example of cohesion in the whole essay, making the way you link sentences ‘mechanical’// LR – good use of collocation and some less common, but natural, expressions// G – you need to take care with articles as this has to limit the band. There are also a couple of ‘clumsy’ sentences
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6 (closer to 5 than 7)
// CC – 6
//LR – 8 (a bit generous?)
//G – 7
//Overall =7,0. (but not a strong 7,0).
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