This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Governments should be responsible for funding and be controlling scientific research rather than private organizations.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
In this era of modern technology, advancement in the field of scientific research is imperative for the progress of every country.It is argued by many that scientific experimentation should be conducted and controlled by the government.While others believe that this authority should be given to private companies.This essay strongly agrees with this assertion that government should take the charge of such scientific investigations, and will justify my stance in succeeding paragraphs of the essay before reaching to a conclusion.
There are many reasons that these experiments should be regulated by public sector one of these that research in the field of national defense, nuclear technology, and military intelligence is very crucial as these are in the national interest and demands a high-level of secrecy.These cannot be left on the shoulders of private companies.In this era of money worship, it is highly a possibility that the desire of money making would drive these private organizations to leak such confidential information to the arrival country and could be misused against that country.Thus, the government should take the lead of scientific research.
A further point to be made is that it has been observed that when the funding for the research comes from the same organization that is going to gain from the favorable outcome, then there is a strong potential for biased results.Taking an example of pharmaceutical companies, these companies invest a huge amount of money on these investigations and obviously they expect positive results in any case whether the drug is dangerous for patients and in such circumstances a huge pressure comes on the shoulder of scientists and it would be difficult for them to be impartial.
To recapitulate, on the basis of above grounds I strongly agree with this notion that scientific investigations should be carried out by the public sector as the government can only provide unbiased results and also can keep results secret for their country.
(315Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – you deal with the question and the argument in para 3 is particularly strong// CC – 3 sentences in para 2? 2 sentences in para 2? “Taking an example of pharmaceutical companies, these companies invest,,” – note the repetition. There is a balance between use of conjunctions and cohesion but some of the sentences are ‘clumsy’// LR – totally appropriate for the topic and plenty of strong & less common collocation (“very crucial”?)// G – “these companies invest a huge amount of money on these investigations and obviously they expect positive results in any case whether the drug is dangerous for patients and in such circumstances a huge pressure comes on the shoulder of scientists and it would be difficult for them to be impartial.”!!! That is difficult to read & make sense of. Punctuation is faulty & use of articles is erratic. Some of the dependent prepositions are incorrect (“take the lead IN/take the lead IN”). Putting all these minor errors together, almost every sentence has a mistake
So, I’d say:
//TA – 7
// CC – 6
// LR – 9 (?)
//G – 6
//Overall = 7.0. 7 but the overall response is rather “imbalanced”.
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