This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
It is irrefutable that people purchase a lot of unnecessary items, because they get influenced from the advertisements. Although, I agree with the notion, it is not the only factor that increases sales. I shall put forth arguments to justify my inclination, in the succeeding paragraphs, before reaching a cogent conclusion.
To begin with, advertisements greatly affect the mindsets of individuals about buying desired things. They not only trust endorsements blindly, but also waste their hard-earned money to get products without requirement. It occurs due to the eye-catching display effects and impractical results shown. For instance, my aunt holds the belief that, whatever is represented in the advertisements is true and always end up purchasing products without their real need. Thus, it is evident that advertisements are one of the significant reasons of burgeoning sales.
However, there exists certain other factors which are responsible for hike in sales. First of all, the newer generation holds a superiority complex, which compels them to buy unnecessary things. As a result, they keeps on converting their desires into requirements, inadvertently. For example, an increase of 15% in sales of cars has been observed than previous decade, as all members of the families feel the need of their own vehicles. Secondly, the isolated nature of modern people coerces them to possess as many things as possible, in order to avoid depending upon others. Therefore, it is safe to say that individual’s self-gratification and non reliance on others, influences the sales in a more positive manner.
To conclude, as discussed in the aforementioned paragraphs, it is crystal clear that advertisements do affect the sales, but the major benefit is gained from the people’s obsession of self-satisfaction and isolation.
(280Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – you deal with the influence of advertising but where do you deal with “the real needs of the society in which they are sold”? Paragraph 3 is largely irrelevant to the question// CC – even though you use some basic conjunctions (To begin with/secondly) there is good use of cohesion and a sense of development in the writing// LR – “I shall put forth arguments to justify my inclination, in the succeeding paragraphs, before reaching a cogent conclusion.” As Michael points out, no native speaker would produce anything like that & some of your word choice costs you a band// G – a few careless (?) errors
So, I’d say:
//TA – 5
// CC – 7 (with the potential for higher)
//LR – 7 (with the potential for higher)
//G – 8 (a bit generous?)
//Overall= 7.0.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
- IELTS Mock Test British Council
- Overall Band Score Calculator
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