This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 6 Answer
It is believed by many that competitiveness among younger generations should be welcomed warmly. However, school of thoughts of other are totally opposite, who think that co-operation is far better than the competition in order to be a valuable person in future. Both points will be discussed in this essay before coming to a conclusion.
On the one hand, having an ideology of to become on top position among all is useful in terms of life race because, this is the only way by which they can increase their confidence level. Lets take an example of the co-education system, every one is quite conscious about their results, even about their getup too. Similarly, a recent study in Human Behaviour in China revealed publicly that after creating co-education environment in primary schools, pupils started to compete with their opposite genders thus, approximately 42% average students increased their interest in their academics.
On the other hand, exchanging of ideas with other colleagues while studying plays important role in building up a personality and leadership skills. It has been said that Knowledge can only be increased by sharing and helping others in good manner. Cooperation with each other could make individuals innovative at the end too. For example, due to great failure ratio in Final Year Projects in almost all Higher Institutions in Pakistan, management has finally decided to make groups of maximum five students instead of making it alone to complete it by the deadlines, in results, failure ratio decreased by an unbelievable number of percentage (40).
In my opinion, there is no denying that both the competitiveness and the cooperation have their own advantages,but latter one is far better than former one,because it has endless benefits from study prospective to leadership qualities and also has long lasting effect in comparison to competitiveness which is for short term measure.
In conclusion, both competition and cooperation have their parts to play in making individuals a workable person , but , of-course key does lie with cooperation.
(329Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
The second sentence of the introduction is very clumsy. And younger generations isnt helpful. TA – there are 2 problems – I don;t know what co-education is and I am unsure of the 5 pupils class size limit or see a clear link between group size & success rates, And if I have to guess, it limits the band// CC – Lets is spoken English.I dont understand the use/meaning of similarly in para 2. Para 4 is one, very long sentence// LR – satisfactory but some odd word choice detracts from your performance (a workable person/0//G – you have problems with dependent prepositions, articles and punctuation is faulty. There are also a few minor slips. The result is that almost every sentence contains a mistake, especially the longer ones// So, Id say: TA – 6// CC – 6 (has the potential for 7)// LR – 7// G – 6// 6.0
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