This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
More and more robots are used now a days in home and in workplace. What do you think it is positive or negative development?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
It is undeniable that robotic machines have greatly assisted the individuals in one way or the other. Although, I believe that it brings positive outcomes, the negative implications are far-reaching. In this essay, the favourable results of using robots will be discussed alongwith the over reliance of people on them, before reaching a reasoned conclusion.
Intelligent machines have made the lives of people easier. These devices perform the basic household chores like moping, in lesser time and with more accuracy. As a result, people use their precious time to do more fruitful tasks that would develop a sense of satisfaction in them. In the same vein, robots carry out various operations at offices. They do jobs under hazardous environment and control the machines as well. For instance, a robot can easily perform job with concentration under severe conditions of noise and vibrations, which would be difficult for a normal individual to carry out. Thus, it is evident that day to day tasks of humans are easily carried out by intelligent machines.
However, the unfavourable ramifications of robots cannot be overlooked. The main impact of such devices on people, is the over reliance. Individuals keep on depending on robotic devices, which in turn, makes them lazy. As a result, they catch certain health ailments. For example, a recent survey reported that an increase in obesity of younger generation is observed, because of reduced physical work. Additionally, intelligent machines are meant to follow the instructions given to them and the inappropriate instructions can result into disastrous situations. It is so because robots do not use their own intelligence and depends upon the guidelines feeded in their programs. Therefore, the over dependence and improper commands given to such machines can make the circumstances worse.
To conclude, as the aforementioned arguments have justified my inclination towards negative development, the over usage of robots at both homes and workplaces would certainly lead to a perilous state for the society and is therefore, not advisable.
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
TA – you contradict yourself in the introduction. (It is undeniable that robotic machines have greatly assisted /the negative implications are far-reaching!). The phrase “reasoned conclusion” is meaningless. You write very well about the topic but I don’t see where you explain your opinion. Nothing you write convinces me that “would certainly lead to a perilous state”// CC – there is a good balance of conjunctions and cohesion// LR – there is adequate collocation and very little vocabulary that feels “out of place”// G -there are a few missing articles but para 3 is faultless. I can see a few incorrect dependent prepositions
So, I’d say:
//TA – 7 (a little generous?)
//CC – 8
// LR – 7
// G – 7
//Overall = 7.0. (even if TA is 6).
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