This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Production of goods has led to environmental damage
give causes and solution of the problem.
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
In the recent few decades, there is variety tremendous rise in the demand for various items, leading to a huge rise in the manufacturing of different goods. This trend has the detrimental impact on the atmosphere. In this essay, I will discuss the core factors behind this and will also suggest practical solutions to tackle the pertinent issue.
The the of the rise in the making of goods is the population explosion because an increase in a number of people around the globe will automatically raise the demand of items like clothes, household, and other goods. Therefore, it is obvious that in order to meet the demands, production unit will manufacture exorbitant numbers of goods. Another contributing factor is that most of the production units do not have a proper mechanism of waste disposal, consequently, the toxic litter and detritus containment the fresh water, which endanger the existence of aquatic species. For instance, the establishment of the industrial zone in Egypt has led to a dramatic decline in the population of swans across the Nile River. The burning of fossil fuels is also a major reason for damaging the ecosystem since industries burn fossil fuels that lead to the emission of hazardous gases like carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide, and sulfur dioxides.
Coming towards the remedial side, there is a plethora of solutions to counter this issue. At the first place, an effective remedy will be the adopting the concept of family planning and spreading awareness about various methods of contraception. By doing this, the population can be controlled, which mean that the production of goods will be limited. In addition, one practical solution is to seal all factories that lack proper disposal units, that will decrease the pollution of water and hence save the aquatic life. In order to mitigate the issue, the factories should be diverted to nuclear and solar , this will decrease the emission of fossil fuels.
To conclude, it’s a fact that the considerable rise in the good has damaged the environment but with measures like family planning. Proper disposal units and renewable energy resources, it can be overcome.
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
There are article errors in the introduction which creates a bad first impression.Is “pertinent issue” a collocation? What do you mean by “atmosphere”? Is this the question? TA – it’s a good answer but is overpopulation a direct cause?// CC – I feel this is ‘borderline’. Para 3 is really good but you ‘overload’ para 2. There’s too much in para 2// LR – there’s adequate collocation// G – there are a few slips and punctuation isn’t perfect
So, I’d say:
//TA – 7 (slightly generous?)
//CC – 6 ( 7 if you are lucky, but not from me)
//LR – 7 (a strong 7)
//G – 7 (the potential for 8 with care)
//Overall= 7.0 (but it might slip down on TA).
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
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