This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Government should spend money on railways rather than roads.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Which mode of transportation deserves more money from the government is an ongoing debate. Some people advocated that the governing body ought to allocate more fund on railways instead of the roads.I strongly agree with this view because of its impact on the economic development. This essay will clarify the reason which will underpin my opinion.
Technically, government investment on roads indirectly subsidy to traffic congestion. This is because, if the authority constructs more roads rather than railways, they will encourage its inhabitants to use more private cars which are the major contributor to gridlock. To illustrate this point, take Bangladesh as an example, where private car sells has been increased by 15 percent since 2016, owing to the building of an extensive road network. Afterwards, the citizens have to waste more than 3 to 4 hours while commuting because of high-intensity traffic jams.
Conversely, capital expenditure on the railway development aid to secure a comprehensive economy. This is because by ensuring faster and safer locomotor services, not only will the authority attract more tourist but also many merchandisers to trade with the country. For example, since China introduced the high-speed electric trains, its export business, and tourist industries have highly incorporated into the economy. Thus it is evident why the states should devise some strategy to spend money on the development of an integrated subway system.
To conclude, having discussed the implications of spending a substantial amount of money on roads, I am of the opinion that the budgeting more money on railways would be much more fruitful as it will enhance the financial development of a country as it enriches tourist and trade companies.
(273Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – you deal with the question but is Bangladesh somewhere that has a lot of tourists? Your examples in para 3 aren’t wholly relevant.It strikes me that traffic congestion is mainly in city centres while rail networks are more important between cities. The conclusion is “strong” but is it relevant to Bangladesh? The essay lacks a focus. In the introduction you write “the government” but nowhere in the essay do you say which government/country you mean. So this use of “the” has cost you a band in TA// CC – “Technically”? Otherwise, use of conjunctions & cohesion is ‘good’ but paras 2 & 3 follow an identical structure, including “This is because” 2x.// LR – “sales” not “sells” & “comprehensive economy” prevents you from getting 9. “locomotor” costs you another band// G – “allocate more fund “/”investment on roads indirectly subsidy to”/”expenditure on the railway development aid to secure a comprehensive economy”/”its export business, and tourist industries have highly incorporated into the economy”/”I am of the opinion that the budgeting more money on railways would be much more fruitful as it will enhance” – correct the errors here & 9 might be possible
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6
// CC – 7
// LR – 7
// G – 7
//Overall = 7.0 (with more care or control 7,5 or even higher could be a realistic result.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
- IELTS Mock Test British Council
- Overall Band Score Calculator
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