IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer #136

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This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Today more and more people are travelling than ever before.
Why is this the case?
What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.

Write a minimum of 250 words.

Sample Band 7 Answer

When compared to the past, the percentage of those who prefer to travel has increased considerably. In this essay we will discuss about the factors that have contributed to this change, and the benefits of going on tours.

Let us start by discussing about the causes for this upward trend. A major reason is the increase in number of men and women who earn while they are studying. Lots of school and college students can be seen doing part time and full time jobs during holidays and semester breaks, saving their money so that they can go on trips in future. The Travel Guide magazine, in one of its articles stated that out of those who travelled abroad, 40% are teenagers or college students.Furthermore, cheaper air and sea fares encouraged more number of people to travel to foreign destinations. In 2016, American Airlines company recorded an increase in air travellers by 30%, when ticket rates dropped by 10%.

Now, we will discuss about the advantages of such travels for sightseers. Firstly, it enables them to adpat to any situation , which may come in handy when they have shift or migrate abroad owing to study or work reasons. Many students and immigrants who have travelled abroad claim that it was easier for them to be blend in with their new home and lifestyle. Secondly, they get experience cultures and lifestyle of people that are completely different from theirs.

To sum up, the increase in travellers can be related to more number of youngsters opting to travel, by which they can experience and appreciate the cultures and lifestyles of others.

(266Words)

This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.

Examiner Feedback

“We”? “Let us start by discussing”? Is this an essay or the script of an oral presentation? I hope you are not using a dodgy “band 9” mode to prepare. TA – you appear to be focusing on a particular group of travellers but you do not specifically state this in the thesis statement or a topic sentence. There is an imbalance between the way you respond to the two parts of the question. You do not give adequate reasons in para 3// CC – this an excellent text written with clarity. Unfortunately, it follows a spoken style and when I apply the marking criteria, “furthermore”/”firstly”/”secondly” = ‘mechanical’ and you write in statements so use of cohesion is limited// LR – “come in handy when they have shift “? //G – the spoken style you use limits the range of complex grammar patterns. One use of the passive. No conditional sentences (but good use of modals). There are some ‘clumsy’ sections (such travels/when they have shift /to be blend in/can be related to more number of youngsters). Para 2 is faultless but is there enough evidence of complex language? You have put me in a quandary

So, I’d say:
//TA – 7( para 3 needs developing)
//CC – 7 (a ‘strict’ examiner could be tougher)
// LR – 8 (I’m ignoring the one spelling slip)
//G – 7 (8 if you are very lucky)
//Overall = . a strong 7,0 .

If this is your natural writing style, try to be a bit more formal and ‘show off’ a little with grammar. If you are using a ‘band 9’ collection, throw it away (unless you are satisfied with my suggested bands).

Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.

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