This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t.
Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Undoubtedly, skilled sportsmen are widely well known. Although a group of people sees that they are a good idol for youth, others contend that they are not. From my perspective, I cannot align myself with either opinion, because I have some reservations about both of them.
On the one hand, famous athletes can be perfect examples of achieving goals by hard work and stubbornness. Since successful players, as published in the media, stick to schedules of continuous training and work on their skills, they finally become champions with a worldwide fame. Subsequently, we can use their success stories as a motive to and teenagers and youth to do their best to be idols. Some research studies proved that this kind of aforementioned motivation has been always an effective way to bring out significant result while educating students. Thus, if we can depend on brilliant sportsmen as role models, youth will probably be triggered to accomplish their future targets.
On the other hand, some viewpoints may guess that the luxurious lifestyle of these popular icons might be a sort of lavishness and exaggeration. So, it can be disappointing to many young people to see such form of incredible wealthy life. For instance, when the footballer Cristiano Ronaldo appears in the media enjoying his weekend on a luxurious yacht, we can feel that he only plays football games for fun, which do not deserve this large sum of money. Many individuals who suffer from financial problems and can barely live are likely to hate such players. Therefore, the lifestyle of popular athletes can be disappointing rather than being a motive to the younger generations.
To conclude, after pondering upon both viewpoints, it is felt that despite the fact that success journeys of famous sportsmen can be an efficient instance to motivate youth, their extra-wealthy life may adversely affects those who struggle with hard living conditions. Thus, it is better not to focus on the personal lives of public sports figures.
(325Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – on the topic of role models you do not discuss personal values & morals. I don’t see how wealth is a negative aspect, it is the use made of it. So, for me, you don’t deal with the topic is sufficient depth. But for me, the last sentence of your conclusion costs you a band – you don’t justify this view// CC – the writing flows & there is good use of cohesion. “So”?// LR – Timur has identified that your use of vocabulary, while not “wrong” doesn’t have a natural ‘feel’.// G – good but there are too many minor (very minor slips) in articles, word order ( 1 error) & word-formation to warrant a really high band
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6
// CC – 8
// LR – 8 (just)
// G – 7 (the potential for 8)
//Overall = 7,0. (a strong 7,0).
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
- IELTS Mock Test British Council
- Overall Band Score Calculator
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