This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as of ices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this.
Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favour.
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 6 Answer
Nowadays, a number of countries have recently outlawed smoking in public places such as parks and working buildings for the welfare of the community.However, some countries seem to have no implementation for addressing this issue.In this essay, I will discuss about this debate from both sides and draw my own conclusion.
On the one hand, some poor countries have to struggle with financial problems especially to provide infrastructure for the public in particular.In this case, it might be said that as a government, there would be less emphasis on legislation concerning health care management system when it comes to the problems of smoking.Another widely-observed factor is that other countries have no school curriculum for health education particularly at primary education level.As a result, children appear to have no knowledge for healthy habits and start trying to smoke in their early ages and must be difficult to control smoking when they grow old, and there would be some challengings for the authorities to impose rule of law on such populace.
On the other hand, law enforcement has been carried out effectively by many countries ,for instance, the UK in light of banning smoking in crowded areas for the interests of the public.In those countries,there seem to have wide range of media coverage for health educations with regard to health benefits of non-smoking and complications of smokings such as respiratory tract diseases ,for example, lung cancer and exacerbation of other non communicable diseases like heart disease ,hypertension and dibetes ,and meaning that from children to older generation , they can have a proper knowledge of negative consequences of smoking.Finally, it would be easy for the government to enforce laws on such people.
Overall, it is logical to conclude that prevention of smoking tobaccos or cigarettes by the government would create a country to become much healthier and more prosperous ,and there must be substantial drawbacks for those countries which do not prohibit smoking in public.
(320Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
From the wording, this is not an ‘authentic’ question. TA – paragraph 2 is far too general.Para 3 is similar in style and “it would be easy for the government to enforce laws on such people.” is puzzling for a number of reasons. Do you reach a clear conclusion?// CC – you use cohesion well but only 3 long sentences in paras 2 & 3 suggests something isn’t right// LR – there is good use of collocation but not all the writing is ‘natural; in style. “challengings”?// G – I have to penalise faulty punctuation here. There are some excellent “chunks” of language but also places where there is a lack of control
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6 (it is very “woolly” so an examiner with a pile of papers might be 5)
// CC – 7 (just)
// LR – 7
// G – 6
//Overall = 6.5 (but 6.0 wouldn’t surprise me).
Well, this are the essay sample for band 6. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
- IELTS Writing Task 1
- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
- IELTS Mock Test British Council
- Overall Band Score Calculator
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