This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some people say that the best way to improve health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 6 Answer
It is considered that increase in sports amenities would bring betterment in public health. The opponents argue that other alternatives should opt because sports have minimum impact on human health. This essay will outline both arguments, and then conclusion will be drawn.
In most parts of the world, people are suffering from health-related issues such as diabetes, cardiac issues and obesity. The main reason is that they are not provided with recreation centers and sports facilities. If the state builds modern sports stadiums with gyms, cricket and football grounds in every big and small city, it will give an opportunity to their residence to adopt active lifestyle. For instance, Imran Khan, renown cricketer in his 60s living healthy and fit life without any co-morbidities. This example proves that living active lifestyle improve health condition.
On the other hand, opponent argues that other alternatives should be encouraged. First, delicious fast food should be cut down from everyday life. According to medical journals, these scrumptious food contain rich amount of cholesterol and lipids, these are leading agents for triple vessel disease and diabetes. Secondly, it is adviced that people should do their physical check-up at least once in three months. The regular check-up may enhance the chance to pick a disease at an early stage.
To sum up, it is clear from above arguments that out-door activities are beneficial for a healthy lifestyle. It seems to me that sports stadiums should be made for the well being of public health, but other alternatives cannot be overlooked.
(251Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
It’s as if a different person wrote the introduction & the main body, The intro is poor in terms of grammar & vocabulary. What happened? TA – you have written about sports facilities. You have written about diet & health checks. You have added your own opinion (without sufficient explanation/justification) at the end. This is more like a report than a persuasive essay// CC – coherence & cohesion inside the paragraphs is good and paragraphing is logical. But as a whole there isn’t sense of development in the essay// LR – the ‘medical’ writing is excellent but elsewhere the word choice is “odd” (“scrumptious” would only be found in children’s stories & food writing).// G – this is the weakest area, particularly in the intro. Second conditional would be better in para 2 (but the first conditional you use is grammatically correct). Articles are faulty & there are some basic slips (“living AN active lifestyle improveS…”// LR & G are borderline but
I’d say:
//TA – 6
//CC – 7
// LR – 7 close to 6)
//G – 6 (because of the introduction)
//Overall = 6.5.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 6. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
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