This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live
Discuss both view and give your opinion ?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 6 Answer
With the evolution in technology , it is easier to explore the space and planets in 21st century. There is a controversial argument going on nowadays that, some people believes that doing research about the universe is a waste of time and investment . However, others believe that , it is fruitful always to know about the universe for the survival of mankind. In this essay ,both point of views will be discussed along with my opinion on the matter.
Space exploration is necessary to enhance the lifestyle of individuals. Scientists and engineers are working immensely hard to learn about the life in planets in the galaxy ,to fulfill the needs which are depleting in the world . For instance , after research of many years ,scientists have come acrossed with myriads of benefits for human life . One major discovery out of the research was of water around earth ,which have been utilized for various purposes like , generating electricity and others . Thus , it is apparent from the above example that exploring about the space is beneficial for mankind .
On the other hand , I along with others believe that research about the hidden aspects of universe is redundant for human beings because they are utilizing the money and resources , which are needed by the state for primitive needs . For example , it has been reported in the previous year that , Nasa is been utilizing all the aids from the USA government to make machines which can easily operate in space .However, in my opinion , these patronage of the government are highly needed for the rehabilitation of army and soldiers , who are sacrificing their lives to protect the country . This example proves that , instead of wasting time , energy , money and other resources on exploring universe ,ministry should focus on the indispensible and primitive needs of the society.
To recapitulate, some might say that exploring universe is beneficial . Whereas , i firmly agree with the notion that , our army requires more attention of resources to be able to serve the country in a better way . Given this situation, it seems that , the government ought to implement funds to accomplish the basic needs of the society and make this world a peacefull place to live in.
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
TA – “it is apparent from the above example that exploring about the space is beneficial for mankind” – No it isn’t. What does “water around earth ” mean? In the topic sentence you write “enhance the lifestyle of individuals. ” but where do you deal with this aspect? Your answer is far too general and the examples don’t convince me. In fact, I can see a direct relationship between technological developments resulting from space research and “the rehabilitation of army and soldiers”// CC – while your argument is weak, the writing flows and you use cohesion well. If your TA were stronger, I’d consider a higher band// LR – ” primitive needs”? There is adequate use of strong collocation// G – look at what Lu Arango says. If you didn’t proofread before posting, you have wasted your time & that of member who have given feedback. If you can;t see the basic errors, you need to do a lot of work on grammar before entering for the examination
So. I’d say:
//TA – 6
// CC – 7
// LR – 7
// G – 6 ( can easily be higher with more care)
//Overall = 6.5
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