This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. Do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 6 Answer
Many countries which have good opportunities for working occasionally need to hire
effective kind of labor to make sure that it will increase their domestic production. In my point of view the skilled employees who have good experiences in different work fields, they are a real treasure for their nations indeed.
At first, in rich states with high levels of living there are many facilities and also a lot of empty places of work. They in need to keep introducing best products and services they may present work chances that serve the objectives of public needs. For instance, specifically in Germany large hospitals need high qualified doctors work for 24-hours service in all specializations, so they hire large numbers of doctors in the same expertise thus they can make sure that all patients will take the appropriate care services in any time.
Now days, labor force that have distinctive advantages like computer and technical skills are very distinguished for any organization. Its obvious that to hire one worker who can do more than one defined task and takes large amount of salary is more profitable than hiring 2 or 3 employees have only one skill to do one task. For example, recruit an expertise engineer who achieved many large projects in his career previously and that will cost you high wage. With no doubt with applying that its still more profitable than hiring another engineer with no real and practical experiments.
To sum up, its not only a good issue for developed countries to adapt and supporting humans in poor countries but after that they will also gain what they will invest into those persons like a win-win situation.
(276Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – the question focuses on from poor countries but you do not touch on this until the conclusion. I therefore feel you have failed to discuss a key element of the question// CC – para 3 is much better than para 2. Why do you think i feel this isÿthe case? The essay is difficult to read because of faulty punctuation, but this is penalised in G, not CC// LR – there are some examples of strong collocation but also many cases where the word choice isnt right( large amount of salary/ take the appropriate care / cost you high wage/ practical experiments/ good issue /high levels of living/ empty places of work)// G – a fairly limited range of sentence patterns (no passive examples), a few article errors and noticeable issues with punctuation// So, Id say: TA – 5// CC – 7// LR – 6 (7 is possible)// G – 6// = 6.0. It will take an effort to jump to 6.5 and higher. Sorry you had to wait for anyone to comment.
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