This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
ACCORDING TO THOSE IN THE TRAVEL BUSINESS , the nature of the average HOLIDAY IS CHANGING RATHER THAN SEEKING A RELAXING BREAK IN A FAR AWAY PLACE , people now want excitement on their holiday and are keen to participate in unusuall and challenging activities .
DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE ?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 6 Answer
Holidays seem to be relaxing pause between busy routines. It has been observed by the travel advisors that , the trend of spending vacations have changed from the past as nowadays , people prefer to spend their holidays doing adventurous activities instead , of looking for comfort or calm . I completely agree with this assertion attributed to the growing use of internet. In addition to that, People likes to play unusuall sports and desire to get rid of the relaxing routine at home on holidays .
In contemporary world , everything a person do is on social media and shares their personal stories with people to start new trends , by influencing people with their amazing videos . To elaborate , in 2017 , a video became immensely famous on instagram in which , a men was seen diving in sea from 15m height in Malaysia to experience thrill and excitement , after watching this video people got influenced and performed same challenging task on holidays , to start a trend on instagram by uploading videos and tagging friends on instagram , which became very popular . Thus , it is apparent from this example that , changing in the nature of holidays is because of the escalating use of technologies in 21st century .
There is another aspect to this argument , some people say that vacations are the time to relax and to unwind from all the daily activities . Therefore , they should be spent in traditional ways like sleeping r by sitting at the beach enjoying calmness . However, in my opinion to release stress. Similarly , to change from the same monotonous routine of life , in modern times , people prefer to go on ventures to experience a peak of excitement and referesh their mind and body with the unusuall darings . For instance , in a latest survey in 2017 , it was reported by the travel business workers that people are interested more in visiting places like Chile in USA to experience hiking on holidays . This proves that , holidays become worth memorable , when they are spent performing adventurous activities .
To sum up , I completely agree with the notion that people are spending vacations to seek adventure and to show the world with their exciting experiences , which I firmly support as great ways of refereshing . Given this situation , it seems that, travelling agencies should organise activities to make holiday trips memorable.
(414Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
I suppose this is a GT Task. Where is the question from, please? TA – there is no need for detail in the introduction. The problem is that “do you agree or disagree” is very general and doesn’t require the writer to explain. In para 2 you explain “why” but that is not in the question. I don’t understand the use of “similarly” in para 3. What is the paragraph about? Is there a topic sentence? How is the final sentence of the conclusion related to the question? I find it very difficult to assess this task. Perhaps it’s because of the question or the lack of carrier nouns to signal to the reader what you are doing// CC – there is some use of cohesion but I can’t relate para 2 to the actual question and para 3 uses “therefore/however/similarly” straight after each other. This is confusing// CC – there is some use of collocation but also some odd word combinations. There are a few spelling errors// G – this is borderline. there are some complex sentence patterns but numerous basic errors ( everything a person do ) including erratic use of articles and some punctuation errors
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6 (?)
// CC – 6
// LR – 7 (just)
// G – . 7 (just)
//Overall = 6.5 (close to 6.0).
Well, this are the essay sample for band 6. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
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