This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
The quality of health care a person receives should not depend on the size of their bank balance. The government is responsible for providing a high level of heath care for all its citizens. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 6 Answer
A great Health care system should be considered on a priority basis on any government’s national reform list, as health is the true wealth of a nation. Some people are of the opinion that health concerns of an individual should not commensurate directly with the wealth. Whereas, The others believe government should provide free, prime health facilities to all its citizens. I totally agree that the government should be at the helm of setting up sound health care schemes.
Firstly, I believe that at the onset of economic and fiscal development the physical and mental health of the plebeians should be of a major concern. For instance, in the USA all the senior citizens are entitled to free medical check-ups and free treatment, hospitalisation and medicines for all its citizens. Which has led to people feeling less overburdened and financially taxed because of arising health issues.
Secondly, I also strongly believe that the government should aim for healthy and happy individuals as along with development and prosperity it is high time it pays attention to improvising the quality of life. In economies like India or Pakistan where medical expenses are too exorbitant, or partially privatised then the sound or private healthcare facilities cannot be availed of by even the middle-class or the poor.
So, I sensibly and ostensibly conclude that a healthy nation can only work towards growth, development and advancement of a nation, because then the people also start believing as the government proves to genuinely nurture and cares for their patrons.
(250Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
An ‘odd’ introduction which begins with a very positive statement. There is then a sentence I don’t understand followed by a reinforcement of the opening sentence and then there is a repetition/paraphrase of the topic sentence! TA – what you write about the USA is simply not true. Para 3 reads reads like a political pamphlet. The content is far too general. The conclusion does not deal with the heart of the question, which is should the wealthy/well-paid have to pay for their health care// CC – is it possible to begin a sentence with “Which”? Paragraph 3 consists of 2 sentences, suggesting that he argument has not been fully developed. Beginning a paragraph with “So” is very basic. I can’t see any use of cohesion between sentences// LR – “Plebeians” ? This is derogatory term in this day and age. “too exorbitant”? That’s like saying “very fantastic”. I like more carrier nouns// G – ” considered on a priority basis ” or ‘considered AS’. This is an example of when a change of preposition changes the meaning. Which do you mean? ” it is high time it pays attention to improvising the quality of life” – can you see the grammar and and vocabulary slips? There are very few errors (but I can’t ignore ” for all its citizens. Which has led to people feeling less ..”) and verb patterns are correct, Yet there could be a wider range of sentence patterns
So, I’d say:
//TA – 5
// CC – 6
//LR – 8 (just)
// G – 7 (8 if “Which” was a typo)
//Overall = 6,5 (7.0?). Where is the question from? It’s quite ‘political’ in nature.
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