This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Dear friends and teachers, Please evaluate below task 2 essay for my mistakes and your valuable suggestions in order to improve my writing skills.
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 6 Answer
It is believe by majority of people that some events which are celebrated on governmental level is a waste of public money, and state should accommodate those allocated budgets on other public developmental projects. I completely disagree with this school of thought and believe that these celebrations emphasize the importance of our culture as well as history.
For one, some celebrations educate our children about the historical events. For instance, my country Pakistan celebrates 14th of august as our national independence day every year, which instill our adolescents the necessity of having a separate independent country, and embolden them towards the prosperity and safety of their country. Equally importantly, though, some functions are specifically to pay tribute to our heroes who sacrifice their lives and martyred for the sake of our home land. Thus, considering above indisputable facts, it is evident to celebrate such days.
In addition to this, some festivals are cultural and should be celebrated in order to promote the indigenous traditions. For example, every year on 20th of October, my country celebrates national clothing day, which poster different traditional and native dresses worn by their native dwellers to save them from distinction. Further and more importantly, though, the national sports and flower day educate our youth about our national sports and national flower. Therefore, it is indispensable to promote such events on national level.
By way of conclusion, although, some people claim that celebration some events nationwide is a waste of public money and it should be used in other essential projects. However, personally, I am of the opinion that these celebrations are equally important as other developmental activities and should be promoted nationally.”
(274Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
5 careless G slips in the introduction. TA – It’s a good answer until the last sentence of the conclusion. You mention “equally important as other developmental activities equally important as other developmental activities” but you don’t deal with this in your response// CC – . Further and more importantly,? But there is a sense of development// LR – as Manpreet notes, there is some inappropriate word choice. I feel the band is ‘borderline’ but with sections like “pay tribute to our heroes who sacrifice their lives and martyred for the sake of our home land” (homeland) I;m willing to say 7// G – I have to penalise the lack of capital letters for the names of the special days, even if they are slips, Punctuation isn’t perfect. “native dresses worn by ” is an example of a participle clause. But your 2 attempts at the passive is incorrect and there are a few other minor slips. take care with articles
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6 (you “completely disagree” in the introduction but what do you do in the conclusion?)
// CC – 7
// LR – 7 (6 is a possibility as you use the ‘wrong’ word in several places)
// G – 6
//Overall = 6.5 (closer to 6 than 7). Sorry.
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