This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some observers say that police officers should be recruited from the communities where they work, so that they have local knowledge. Other people say that this is unnecessary or even undesirable. Where do you stand on this debate?? Is local knowledge essential in modern policing??
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
The need for effective and trustworthy police officers is paramount in the police department . While some people believe that the local recruitment of the police officers should be done from areas where they belong, I agree with those who believe that this practice will prove to be entirely non essential because of the level of corruption and familiarity of the local police officers with the potential offenders.
On the one hand, people who support local hiring of the police officers point to need for the police to understand minutiae of the local community. These people believe that if police department had hired foreigners , they would have never been able to deal with frictions or history of grievances, whether religious or political, a certain society holds. However,this practice could turn out to be negative as the local officers might share some of the tendencies ,who knows that could be a criminal one, with the people they grew up with. To illustrate, a higher incidence of corruption and bribery was observed in the police department of Brazil when they preferred local personals instead of foreigners. Thus, this practice of local hiring of the police officers could not proved to be useful.
On the other hand, I personally support those who believe that local hiring in the police department could have several drawbacks. This is because , local recruitment of the police officers would lead to biased decisions in favor of some offenders which would lead to failure to enforce law fully. Given this situation, it would be highly injustice towards citizens who abide by the laws and might ruin the whole law and order situation in the local area. Therefore, I support that such police officers should be hired who have transferable skills, such as lateral thinking, and investigative ability rather than looking at areas from where they belong.
Overall, although some people believe that local knowledge would work stupendously if considered at the times of local hiring in the police department, I am of the opinion that risks of local recruitment outweigh its benefits because it would increase the risk of corruption among the police officers and would be a setback to the law and order regulating bodies.
(366Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
By the wording this is definitely not an ‘authentic’ question and I suppose this is why other teachers haven’t commented. TA – you deal with the question well but. for me. para 3 is rather ‘vague’// CC – good but some of the cohesion inside some sentences is faulty// LR – very strong use of collocation in the conclusion but some unnatural word choice elsewhere (highly injustice/work stupendously /share some of the tendencies )// G – this is the weakest area. Word formation and articles show a particular lack of control so,
I’d say: .
//TA – 7
// CC – 7
// LR – 7 (just)
// G – 6
//Overall = 7,0 (but 6.5 is possible).
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
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