IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer #170

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This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.

Write a minimum of 250 words.

Sample Band 7 Answer

Children learn from myriad of influences. Some members of society believe that guardians are responsible for children’s behaviour in a society. While others contest that teaching institutions should take it’s responsibility. In my opinion, parents hold much more importance in making their children responsible adults.

Children’s first institution is their home. Long before joining the school they start their learning process and their mentors are parents. If parents teach their children manners at an early age they will obey them for the rest of their lives. To illustrate, it is proven from studies that those students ,whose parents are attentive to them and teach them, perform better in school and in surrounding. Thus it is clear that proper parental guidance is indeed crucial.

On the other hand, some people believe school are responsible. It is for this reason that students spend majority of their time in school anf follow the teachers religiously. For Instance, if teachers command students to behave well and follow instructions they would do so. Moreover, collaborative homework and problem solving also brings class fellows close to each other and instead of competing they become friends. This behaviour reflects in everyday life making them good members of society.

To conclude, school undoubtedly hold importance but, parental guidance is the pivotal element for pupils to become skilled members of society. Parents are well aware with their child’s weaknesses and can work on them with love and divine attention.

(237Words)

This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.

Examiner Feedback

TA – replacing “parents” with “guardians” shifts the meaning of the question slightly, I can’t see where you explain your opinion. Your answer is very simplistic. Not all children have responsible parents// CC – there is a balance of conjunctions & cohesion. Do you need to use “moreover”?// LR – “follow the teachers religiously” is an excellent collocation but ” divine attention.” isn’t.// G – you write a series of statement (your writing lacks explanation) so the range of grammar patterns is quite limited. I don’t see serious punctuation problems but the lack of variety (only one use of the passive?) combined with minor slips would limit the band
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6
// CC – 7
// LR – 8
// G – 7 (a little strict?)
//Overall = 7.0.

Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.

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Hi! I am Rupesh Dahal. I'm a mid level WordPress Developer, SEO Analyst, Blogger & Web Designer from Nepal. Currently, working as content writer on Mero IELTS Inc.

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