This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Bringing in foreign workers to fill positions that domestic workers are unwilling to do can cause problems in the local community and should, therefore, be stopped. To what extent you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
It has been argued workers from other countries should not be employed on the jobs that local people do not want to do because it can create problems in that particular region. I strongly disagree with this assertion owing to the fact that those positions will be left vacant which can create more problems.
The main reason why I disagree with those who believe foreign workers should not be employed on positions which local people are unwilling to perform is that these tasks will be left undone and nobody will do it which will create more problems. For instance, countries in the Middle East hire doctors from different parts of the world because they do not produce any in their own country. If they halt foreign doctors from coming who would run the major health sector and due to this any nation would collapse. The results of this approach would be deleterious on society, therefore, I believe it is not recommended to stop foreign workers.
However, I would say that instead of trying to stop in order to overcome social issues government should opt for several other measures in order to diminish the problems created by them. For example, employees who come from different parts of the world does not know the rules and regulations of the host country. This is why they must be guided thoroughly so they would be able to adjust and the government should sign a policy that if any problem occurs they will be asked to leave. Canada is a prime example which is a hub of people from different nations working over there yet they are very successful because they maintain a decorum due to their strict rules. This approach is helpful in terms of work not being affected because of lack of staff and that proper rules are being followed.
In conclusion, I completely disagree with the idea that workers from other countries should not be employed because it will create problems of sectors being vacant and no one to do that work. Given this situation, it seems that foreign employees should be guided in a proper manner to avoid any problem.
(356Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
I have mentioned in a previous post that I am not happy with this question, But I have to accept that it is “authentic”,particularly as you deal with in in such a sensitive & thoughtful way. TA – your position is clear throughout the essay and you explain your stance// CC – because you answer the question your writing ‘flows’ . Did you have to use “This” 2x in para 3?// LR – there is effective use of collocation but some of the word choice is “clever” rather than “natural” (deleterious on society/a proper manner)// G – this is the weakest area in that some of the sentences are overlong. which suggests punctuation is faulty in places. Para 3 in particular!
So, I’d say:
//TA – 8
// CC – 7 (very close to 8 but there are a couple of places with faulty cohesion (eg “these tasks will be left undone and nobody will do it which will …)
//LR – 7
// G – 7 (closer to 6 than 8: “to avoid any problemS”)
//Overall = 7.0
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
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