This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
In recent years , many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping.
Is this a positive or negative development ?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Nowadays, people prefer to do shopping from large shopping centers and malls, which leads to the shutdown of many regional stores. I believe that the tendency to purchase from enormous commercial centers increase because which are convenient and economical to the public than local shops.
To begin with, bigger shopping malls help people to purchase many products from one place. Modern commercial complex consist multibrand stores and which provide opportunity for consumers to choose wide range of products without hectic journey, and also it save our precious time. In addition,due to many shops, merchandiser can purchase bulk amount of product from factory with an enormous discount, so that they can provide comparitively large discount to customers than the single shop. Lulu mall in India is a prime example, where we can buy wide range of brands in a better reduction rate than other single outlet in India.
On the other hand, it is argued by some that people’s preferance to purchase from larger shopping centers negatively affect the regional people as it terminate their employment. These small local shops are the primary income for some individuals. As a result of closing the current shop block their income and which leads to poverty. For example, a survey conducted by time magazine shows that many local shops were shutdown due to the lack of customer, and which is one of the reasons to increase the poverty in provinces.
To conclude, large shopping centers provide various merchandise with inexpensive rate, also which help to give employment possibility to many local people. Therefore, in my opinion, the lifestyle of people who travel to shopping malls and centers is a positive development in the community because which has many benefits.
(282Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
How does the introduction help the reader? The question does not ask “why” and by writing “regional stores” you change the meaning of the question. This will give the examiner a bad first impression. TA – despite the poor introduction you deal with the question well although I feel there is one aspect you have overlooked. And I had to reread para 2 to be sure what it was about. Carrier nouns/signals to the reader would help// CC – there is a good balance of basic conjunctions and cohesive features. But there are also faults (“As a result of closing the current shop block their income and which leads to poverty”)// LR – there is just enough strong collocation and topic-relevant vocabulary// G – this is the weakest area, showing a lack of control over basic grammar structures such as missing “s” of verb endings, the inability to use “due to” correctly in paragraph 2 (ok in para 3) and the incorrect use of which
So, I’d say:
//TA – 8 (?)
// CC – 7 (just)
// LR – 7 (just)
// G – 6 (5 in parts of the writing)
//Overall = 7.0.
6.5 wouldn’t surprise me and you need to work on your grammar if you intend to use English for work or study.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
- IELTS Writing Task 1
- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
- IELTS Mock Test British Council
- Overall Band Score Calculator
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