This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Please evaluate my essay: Some people believe that robots are important for humans to develop their future while some people think that it is a dangerous invention, that will impact the society negatively. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Science has revolutionised the human life by its astonishing creations, one such creation of science are robots. Nowadays two different opinions are present in society regarding robots, one is in favour which suggests that robots are essential for the progress of human being. Whereas other believes that it would be hazardous for the society. I m going to elaborate both the views and eventually present my opinion.
To begin with, robots are necessary for individuals who are aspiring for successful future because it has reduced work load of humans, as robots have capacity to do work accurately and quickly so, humans are no longer required to put as much effort as they used to incorporate in their work. Previously before the advant of robotic technology humans work so hard as they are vulnerable to make mistakes. Indeed, in orders to correct those errors sufficient amount of energy and time was required but now, everything has become so effortless. For example, a local cafe in uk, had an accountant who was making emance mistake in updating accounts after so many trials explaining and rectifying mistake of different accountants the honour had decided to replace the post of accountant with automatically operated robotic machine. As a result of using robot for handling all his transaction lot of his work had been reduced and he no longer have to spend hours in correcting silly mistakes of his accountants. By this it can be estimated that robots can decrease work load of humans.
On the contrary, some population hold the view that artificial intelligence is an omnious creation, it can produce detrimental effects on society, because it has opened the door of war and terror on humans. As robotics has progressed a lot in recent years it has become possible for nations to target their enemies who are living at a distance of millions of miles away without even physically going there, certainly not only targets countries can kill natives of other nations and can destroy property and valuable goods of eachother for sake of hate and jealousy. For instance if we take the example of drone attacks which has created devastating impact by killing thousands of people without even discriminating who is guilty and who is innocent. Therefore, it can be assumed that robots can prove to be fatal for mankind.
To conclude, despite the fact that robots can detoriate human lives, i am of opinion robots are helping humans to achieve success by saving their time and energy. As far as atomic bombing is concerned it can be used cautiously to eliminate terrorist. Moreover it can be predicted that ise of robots in daily life would be increase to cope up with the needs of today’s world.
(452Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
Don’t use “eventually” in an introduction. TA – you don’t actually say what you mean by “robots” so how does the reader know you are answering the question. I have my own idea of what a robot is but I don’t know if it’s the same as yours. The only specific example you use is a drone for military purposes and I don’t see how that directly relates to “society”.. Atomic bombs?// CC – despite your answer being very general, there is a sense of development and the writing ‘flows’. If you ideas were clearer, I’d happily give a higher band// LR – good use of collocation and carrier nouns but a few cases of odd word choices that don’t help the reader (eg ” making emance mistake” ?/ “can detoriate human lives”// G – continiual problems with articles have to limit the band. There are a few careless errors too (” other believes”)
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6 (could be 5 from an examiner with a pile of papers to mark)
// CC – 7 (close to 8)
// LR – 7 (8 is a possibility)
// G – 7
//Overall = 7.0 with the potential to improve.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
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