IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer #185

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This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed school.
Discuss both and give opinion.

Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.

Write a minimum of 250 words.

Sample Band 7 Answer

It is often argued that children should study in segregated schools to achieve better results, while some suggest single-sex schools provide more advantages to the students. Although separate schools prevent distraction among pupils, I believe that mixed-schools prepare students for their future.

On the one hand, single-sex schools provide an opportunity to students to remain focus on school subjects. This is to say that opposite sex tend to attract their counterparts and try to impress peers all the time during the school. Boys and girls waste a huge amount of time in order to get attention from opposite gender and lose focus from their studies. However, single-sex schools do not persuade boys and girls to waste time to get attention from peers, so that students will put all of their effort on their education. For example, a recent survey showed that boys from co-education secured very low grades in their intermediate examination as compared to the students who attended separate schools. However, I believe that this problem can be overcome by strict regulation in schools.

On the other hand, co-education allows students to prepare for their adult life. These schools promote boys and girls to develop their interpersonal skills and learn about teamwork so that they will utilise those skills in their practical lives. This happens because learning and studying together create awareness among students about dealing and interacting with the opposite gender. For example, people who studied in single-schools find difficulties in an interview for jobs as they lack certain social skills, such as communication as compared to those who attended mixed schools. This is why this essay believes that mixed-schools are the need of a society in order to develop social skills among students.
To conclude, while same-sex schools encourage pupils to concentrate more on curriculum, I believe that mixed-schools allow students not only to study but also to develop soft skills.

(311Words)

This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.

Examiner Feedback

TA – you deal with the question well and your view is clear throughout. But the essay still ‘feels’ rather general. Only use ‘research’ examples as a last resort. They are rarely convincing// CC – really good use of cohesive devices but you use ‘this’ a lot (how about “such situation occur” to begin sentence 3 of para 3, for example?)// LR – appropriate vocabulary for the topic, lots of strong collocation & evidence of less common, but relevant, collocation// G – what happened in para 2? There are many basic slips (eg “that opposite sex tend to attract their counterparts and try to impress peers all the time during the school”), Para 3 is much more accurate. Verb patterns are mostly accurate but I feel there could/should be a greater range of grammar patterns and am slightly concerned that when you attempt more complex structures the result isn’t really satisfactory (eg “this essay believes that mixed-schools are the need of a society”). A few articles are missing

So, I’d say:
//TA – 7
// CC – 7 (I considered 8)
// LR – 8
// G – 7 (slightly generous? – but the overall band wouldn’t change)
//Overall = 7.0 (but quite an easy question).

Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.

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