This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Coaching for children at an early age has always been debated whole heartedly. Sometimes, not always, punishment is considered essential for both parents and teachers to employ in order to make children distinguish between righteous and morally wrong doings. I largely agree with this notion because of its fruitful results.
First of all, it can strongly be argued that teenagers show great deal of discipline with parents’ reprimand. It is obvious that the mild minds will make mistakes, this is something natural and therefore guardians need to harden their attitudes, if not, they will persist in developing this negative attitude. Punishments like not giving pocket money for a day or two has an excellent impact on children’s behaviour. I have seen in my family when children are not paid what they regularly receive from their parents they mend their ways. Similarly, other benefits like chocolates and technological devices not only motivate them but also make them disciplined if taken away when they do not follow the rules.
Additionally, when I was in school I saw that students learnt the difference between right and wrong with punishment by teachers. Strictness such as burdening students with more and more homework as a result of their misconducts would compel them behave properly. Using swear words is something entirely unethical, any child who is found using swear words should be given special assignment on presenting the dire consequences of offensiveness. In this way not only would they educationally grow but will also morally grow when punishment is constructive.
Having discussed all above, I would reiterate that constructive punishment at home and educational institutes has always proved productive. Children need advice and sometimes when they go off the track they are then in desperate need of nothing but construct punishment for their future learning.
(296Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
“Coaching” changes the meaning of the question so is not a good start. Similarly, “righteous” is not a synonym for “right”. TA – “children/teenagers/students”? What age group are you focusing on? Throughout the whole essay there is a lack of focus. Also, all the essay discusses punishment yet the the conclusion is ” Children need advice” even though this has not been considered in the essay// CC – the ideas develop logically and nothing feels ‘mechanical’ . It is unfortunate that the main body does not reflect what you state in the introduction and conclusion// LR – there is excellent use of appropriate idiom (go off (the) track/in desperate need of / mend their ways. / harden their attitudes). But there is an equal number of odd word combinations// G – this has the potential for 9 (only one missing article in para 2) but you appear to lose control/concentration in para 3.
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6
// CC – 7 (I considered 8 but “First of all is too basic”/meaningless)
// LR – 8 (7 is possible)
// G – 7 (a couple of incorrect word forms have to limit you)
//Overall = 7.0 (with potential for higher with care).
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
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