IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer #193

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This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.

Write a minimum of 250 words.

Sample Band 7 Answer

In this modern world, museums are the only place where ancient goods are stored. Although, it is still debatable that either entry in museums should be charged or not. It is clear that the disadvantages of charging people for entry in museums outweigh the advantages. This essay will put light on the positive aspects of free admission as well as the negatives aspects of charged entrance.

Making museums free of cost will not only help people in learning history but also helps them in understanding art and culture of a specific area. For example, when a group of school children visited the Sindh Museum, they saw many ancient writings and jewellery, which forced them to learn about its history. As the cinemas are popular these days, if museums will be free then more and more people will visit and understand culture, tradition and history of their area.

On the other hand, charging on museums will further reduce their importance, as they are many other entertainment spots that attract the people. For instance, according to a recent report, the growth of clubs, pubs, cinemas and parks have decreased the value of museums. As there are many types of sources through which people spend their time, additional charges on museums admission will greatly decrease their value.

In conclusion, allowing people to visit these museums for learning will help people understand their history. So, the disadvantages of charging museums outweigh the advantages. It is recommended that the government should take steps to promote museums so that our history and civilisation remain intact.

(256Words)

This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.

Examiner Feedback

TA – “goods”? “So, the disadvantages of charging museums outweigh the advantages. ” Really? You haven’t convinced me// CC – I don’t see the connection between the 2 points you make in para 2. In para 3 your argument seems to go round in a circle. With both main body paragraphs consisting of 3 sentences, there seems to be a lack of development in the writing// LR – there is adequate collocation but there could be more effective use of carrier nouns// G – “if museums will be free then more and more people will visit and understand culture” – this is a common ‘Indian English’ error. There are a few slips, including with articles

So, I’d say:
//TA – 6 (you copy a sentence from the q so be careful with word count
//CC – 6 (a bit strict?)
// LR – 7
// G – 8 (? just)
//Overall = 7.0 (but closer to 6.5 than 7.5)

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Hi! I am Rupesh Dahal. I'm a mid level WordPress Developer, SEO Analyst, Blogger & Web Designer from Nepal. Currently, working as content writer on Mero IELTS Inc.

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