This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures. To what extent do you agree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
It is true that good amount of money and efforts are invested to do the research and treatment of various diseases, therefore, some preventive measures are certainly required to tackle them. I firmly agree that it is of significant importance to take some important measures that could prevent different ailments to occur.
There is a substantial amount of finance needed to research about the diseases, which adds the financial liability on the country where such diseases randomly occur. Further, not only does it requires good amount of infrastructure, but also human resources are involved to conduct extensive researches. Moreover, when any research fails, it needs substantial amount of money, effort, and different resources to start all over again, which could be significantly used on other useful areas such as education, sports or development of a nation. For instance, a recent study has shown that only half of the total amount spent on research and treatment of the diseases can be used for overall prevention programs and their implementation in a country. Lastly, the valuable time is required for doing a research and the unpredictability of its success afterwards is a major problem. To eradicate such problem, various methods have been already adopted so far by the government, but they have a low success rate.
I believe that there are far more benefits of implementing the precautionary measures for eradicating the diseases. Firstly, knowledge of preventive measures would prohibit the diseases to occur, thus ensuring healthy living for all. To start such knowledge programs, the government could take some initiatives to raise awareness among masses on how to prevent the diseases. For example, various mediums can be utilized to increase the basic knowledge of preventing diseases through the usage of media, newspapers, and education. As a result, the rising awareness among people would definitely decrease the disease occurrence rate, thereby, ensuring disease free environment and long life of individuals. Secondly, the increasing death rate due to deadly diseases would dramatically fall, and this will certainly add to stability in the population rate. Lastly, the vast amount of money that is spent on treating the diseases could be effectively used in implementing their precautionary techniques.
In conclusion, I completely believe that precautionary measures of diseases plays a vital role in making the nation disease free, for effective utilization of human resources, and to ensure healthy living for all.
(393Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
I’m afraid the introduction is very ‘clumsy’ in terms of word choice & grammar structures. TA – I’,m not comfortable with the authenticity of this question (“too costly”). I am totally confused because, for me “research” is part of prevention as opposed to treating a sick patient. Where is this question from please? A weakness in your answer is a lack of “relevant examples” , which are a requirement in T2// CC – you have written too much & lost control of organisation. You rely too much on basic conjunctions (firstly/secondly/lastly) and even though there is some good use of cohesion ( such knowledge programs)// LR – the vocabulary is impressive but it is obvious that you are ‘showing off” rather than using the lexis skilfully to persuade the reader. All the teachers, particularly Michael Chambers. are critical of the word choice in many essays posted here// G – unless you are a very skillful language user, the more you write the more mistakes you are likely to make. And I suspect that is what has happened here. Did you proofread? There are noticeable and numerous article issues and a few other slips (including prepositions)//
So I’d say:
//TA – 6 (I’d like to say 5)
// CC – 6 (very close to 7)
// LR – 7
//G – 7
//Overall = 7.0 (I feel you have lost a band in CC & possibly a band in LR & G because of the amount you have written).
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