This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
All offenders have to face punishment as they break the law and their punishment depends on the level of crime they have committed. Some people think law should should not be broken at any cost and if anyone dares to break it, he should be given strict punishment regardless of his conditions. On the other hand, people with soft hearts believe that punishment should be given but it must depend on the offenders age, family conditions, responsibilities etc.
Firstly, some people strongly urge that fixed punishments are necessary as it will stop people from committing any sort of offense. Criminals should not be given relaxation. They have to pay for their sins as quick as possible. Even, there are groups who want these punishments should be publically given, so that it can become a example for future criminals. For example, Saudi Arabia, they publically hang the offenders in the market and in the result, they have a much lower crime rate than other neighborhood countries.
In m opinion, criminals should be given a chance to correct their mistakes. They have to be given special cells according to their age and level of crime. Even before the decision in the court, they have to be given appropriate time to tell the court their circumstances and responsibilities that dragged them towards the crime. I will say, even their academic and family background should be considered before the decision. If the decision is given in their favor, they will try to become a good human being and can be an asset for the society in the near future.
In conclusion, I want to state that responsibilities on offender should be considered before the decision of punishment. Slight favor may change the criminal into a good human being and this will be beneficial for our society.
(299Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
What do you mean by “as” in the introduction? Why “soft hearts” – is it your opinion? TA – in para 2 why do you relate the question to religion (“sins”)? is public hanging the punishment in KSA? There the death penalty is only given if the victim’s family insist. So your example is more relevant to the opposing view. There is no example or explanation in para 3.Only your opinion.// CC – there is some cohesion but I honestly cant’ see the division between para 2 & para 3 (I suppose there is one). Is it clear that you have discussed both views? Carrier nouns would help// LR – this is good and apart from the lexis I point out above, appropriate to the topic// G -‘ slips in articles & prepositions are the most noticeable weaknesses
So, I’d say;
//TA – 6 (I;m being strict but I feel an examiner with 20+ papers to mark might give 5)
// CC – 6 ( 5 if there are 3 paragraphs)
// LR – 8 (“.be given relaxation”?)
// G – 7
//Overall = 7.0. The flaws in this essay can easily be remedied.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
- IELTS Writing Task 1
- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
- IELTS Mock Test British Council
- Overall Band Score Calculator
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