This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Please do evaluate this task 2 essay and comment on the probable band score.
Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects,especially at primary level. Do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
It is argued that introducing various art forms like music, drama, art, etc into a primary curriculum is as important as other subjects. This essay strongly agrees to this view firstly as primary schooling is the best phase for children to learn something new and secondly, this also contributes to their all-round development.
Children at primary level are the most receptive to new knowledge. It is said that our brain activity is the best between the ages of five and eleven. Hence, if taught during this period we tend to memorise more efficiently. Moreover, exposing children to various art forms at an early age not only helps them realise their passion but also their inherent talent. A recent study in Italy stated that 36% of the most famous singers were practicing since they were in primary school proving that their efficiency improved a great deal by starting early as this gives a strong foundation.
Learning different art forms also caters to an all-round development of the child. This not only boosts their confidence but also helps them overcome their inferiority complexes and stage fears. Indulging in extracurricular activities reduces stress and also helps the pupils focus better on their own subjects at school. Hence, this proves advantageous to their professional career. For instance, a survey conducted by University of Michigan in 2016 stated that 65% of the most eminent personalities in the field of business attributed their success to the knowledge they gained in school outside their classroom by indulging in various extracurricular activities.
In conclusion, in my opinion primary education is the best time for a child to start learning an art form and it is mandatory to add them to their curriculum along with other subjects as they help in a child’s overall development.
(293Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
How “authentic” is this question? TA – are you writing an essay about subjects that should be taught in primary schools or the value of the performing arts as a school subject and its particular relevance to primary schools? The introduction isn’t particularly helpful. I don’t see the relevance of the content of para 2. Why do you give research evidence about “extracurricular activities” in an essay about making the performing arts essential school subjects? I don’t see how the contents of paragraphs 2 & 3 relate to the conclusion// CC – there is “cohesion” as well as the use of conjunctions but a lack of logic is apparent.logic. There is a lack of explanation. “This not only boosts their confidence but also helps them overcome their inferiority complexes and stage fears.” – how do you support this? You jump to “this proves advantageous to their professional career”. I see a writer following a formulae (This/Hence/-ing/For instance) as paras 2 & 3 are remarkably similar. I don’t see skill// LR – good but I’d like more carrier nouns to guide the reader. “Indulging” isn’t ‘right’// G – verb patterns are largely correct (though some incorrect dependent prepositions have been pointed out above). You begin a couple of sentence with particle clauses & use participle clauses to replace relative pronouns. But you don’t actually use any relative pronouns. The only use of the passive is in fixed phrases (“It is said) and not one modal verb is used (though there is “tend to”)
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6 ( could be 5 from an examiner wit h 20+ papers to mark in a day)
// CC – 7 (but artificial)
// LR – 8
// G – 7 (close to 8 but Andrew gives a good review of the G)
//Overall = 7.0.
A strong 7.0 but nothing that is ‘excellent’ other than LR.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
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