This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
A hand full of people are earning exorbitantly in various nations. Although it is considered by some that it is beneficial for the country, others and I believe, the fixed amount should be allocated to them. Both sides will be discussed in this essay.
On the one hand, those who are in favour, believe that they are the cream of the nation, not everyone is capable enough to shoulder responsibilities at national and international level. The core of this argument is that those have gained positions, which is merely impossible for others to reach without an extreme struggle, hard work and dedication. Take bureaucracy for example, in Pakistan, one has to clear CSS exam which has only 2% passing percentage after which they are given highest ranks in their respected fields. These bureaucrats are the pillars of any country, as they help fortify by making or refining legislation as per requirement. Thus it is evident that such people must be paid highly in terms of income.
On the other hand, others and I believe, providing large sum can burden the economy. Limiting the salary, garnered wealth can be utilized in other sectors like health and education. For instance, a common genetic disease haemophilia is common among children that requires blood transfusion every now and then, that can be expensive for many mediocre families.catalysing such transfusion hubs, more and more average citizen will be benefitted, lengthening their lifespan and a better life ahead.
To conclude, while many people vary in their opinion, I firmly believe that limited salaries ought to be allocated so that other building blocks to run a nation can be invested.
(270Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
” exorbitantly” means you are critical. Is that the meaning you are deliberately trying to convey in the first sentence? TA – who is “they” in ” they are the cream “? Those who are in favour? Para 3 is rather general but at least your viewpoint is clear// CC – you can already see from “they” that cohesion is faulty. But it improves after that and there is a sense of development.// LR – there’s plenty of collocation but some odd word combinations too (mediocre families, etc). Can you find the one spelling error?// G – there is a range of complex grammar patterns but articles are faulty in places and sections are ‘clumsy’ (” others and I believe/”as per requirement.”/”more and more average citizen will be benefitted”/”limited salaries ought to be allocated so that other building blocks to run a nation can be invested”?. You like using the passive, don’t you?
So, I’d say:
//TA – 7 (just)
// CC – 7 (just)
// LR – 7
// G – 7 (but I’m tempted to bring it down because of punctuation)
//Overall = 7.0 (but I wouldn’t argue if someone suggests 6.5).
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
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