This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed.
Discuss both sides.
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Serious crimes have become widely pervasive,and the way to offer punishment is a real matter of debate. While some think that death sentance is the way should be chosen to penalize those who commit serious crimes, others suppose that there are alternative ways to descepline offenders. This essay will discuss both sides of the debate.
On one hand,some people argue that death penalty is the ultimate way to put paid to this widespread of serious crimes, and they support their point of view withe legitimate reasons. First, dooming serious crime perpetrators to death is the only way to terrify those with intentions and inclinations to carry out such kind of criminal acts. For instance Statistical studies point out that Muslim countries have the lowest percentages of homicides, humen trafficking and drug dealing because they have execution as punishment for these deeds. Furthermore, It has to be mentioned that all the previous attempts to fight serious crimes have proven its failure, whereas studies demonstrate that the percentage of crimes has doubled in the last decade. These people have good reasons to see that death penalty is the best punishment to rein crime.
On the other hand, many people find that other tackles could be done to counteract serious crime. Since a lot of criminal acts come out as a result of temporary outrage, not all wrongdoers should be looked at as genuine criminals, and hence the prosecutors should calibrate when they make verdicts. For instance those people who found guilty could be used as labourers to serve with no or minimum wages. Eventually death penalty is seen by many as wasting of the humen resource and is not a wise choice to be made. For these reasons the wholesomeness of death penalty is doubted by many people.
Should all perpetrators of serious crimes be doomed to death? Many people think that this is the best way to descepline the society. While some other disagree and suggest that many other strategies are effective. This essay discussed both sides of the debate and the various reasons that second each notion.
(344Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – you deal with the question well but the examples are not particularly convincing & the answer could be more fully developed. I doubt that this is an ;authentic IELTS q as normally you would be asked to give your opinion// CC – there’s a balance between conjunctions & cohesive devices and also the writing has a sense of development. What do you think you need to do you increase the band for CC?// LR – can “doom” be a verb? Yes – but it is used in set phrases & feels out of place here. Most of the word choice is appropriate and I’ll ignore the few few spelling errors (typos?). There’s adequate collocation and the writing is close to 8 but word combinations like “the wholesomeness of death penalty/temporary outrage/genuine criminals/etc” limit the band// G – this is the weakest area & is closer to 6 than 8. You need to work on articles. The introduction is particularly clumsy (death sentance is the way should be chosen to). Why do you write “This essay discussed both sides ” rather than “This essay has discussed..”?
So, I’d say:
//TA – 7
// CC – 7
// LR – 7
// G – 7
//Overall = 7.0
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