This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 8 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Many animal species are becoming extinct as a result of human activities. What are the causes and possible solutions to this problem?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 8 Answer
Human activities have undoubtedly impacted various sectors in the world. The extinction of a variety of animal species is not an exception. There are reasons such as unplanned urbanisation and hunting that are attributable to the extinction of wild lives. However, steps can definitely be taken to mitigate the problem.
The rapidly growing human population has caused cities to expand such that many a times they are unplanned. Inadequate planning causes more land to be used thus heralding more destruction of forests and cultivable lands. In addition, in many places around the globe, animals that are at the verge of extinction are hunted as their body parts are sold at very high prices. The rapid decline of snow leopards in the Himalayan regions of Nepal is mostly attributable to their poaching. Thus, it is evident that unplanned extension of cities and hunting of animals are to blame for their rapid decline in number.
As a solution to the problem, strict laws should be made and implemented in regards to planning of habitats and hunting of animals. Building of apartments that do not unnecessarily use and occupy spaces should be reinforced by the government. This will cause more efficient use of land thus declining deforestation to ultimately give more space for animals. Furthermore, poachers should be strictly punished and precious animal parts ought to be confiscated and destroyed. This will definitely cause a decline in the illegal hunting and reduce the extinction of animals.
In conclusion, human act of unplanned town planning and hunting are responsible for the extinction of many species of animals. However, with proper and effective plans and strict implementation of laws, the problems can be tackled.
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 8 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
TA – you deal with the question and topic well but an example in para 3 would help and I’m not convinced that it’s the building of apartments that is to blame (in which countries does this happen?)// CC – “borderline”. The conjunctions you use aren’t very subtle and you use “This will” 2x in para 3 for cohesion// LR – “many a times” – where have you seen that used? “proper”?// G – there isn’t a tremendous range of grammar patterns in para 3, is there? I can see one missing preposition and punctuation isn’t perfect
So, I’d say;
//TA – 8
// CC – 7 (could easily be 6)
// G – 8 (so close to 9)
// G – 8 (close to 9)
//Overall = 8.0
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