This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Since the technical revolution took place, media have invaded every house controlling peoples input. One of the themes covered the most by media nowadays is celebrities news. those themes are adopted without consideration of the sake of recipients, especially vulnerable ones such as children. Some people argue that celebrities news do not have that much of impact on children. However, in my opinion, celebrity coverage on media may induce harm to young people in many contexts.
Firstly, famous people covered on news can be bad role models, since youngsters might adapt their misbehavior, such as smoking and consuming alcohol, while they are trying to find ways to deal with life problems. Those acts are widely spreading among young children confirming the fact that many children can be led to the wrong way by only the media.
Another thing that might be a concern is that young people can create unrealistic ambitions based on their idols. Many children, for example, dream of being football players or singers. That might be to the point they neglect their academic studying for the sake of pursuing their imaginary aspirations, yet only few of them find the talent to reach their dreams. while the majority discovers in a later age that there are more serious ways in life that can be taken by them in order to be successful.
In short, famous idols covered by media can have their influence on the acts and the ideas of young people. that can be limited, or at least directed, by communicating with children and educating them in order to widen their prospective in life.
(264Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
How helpful is the introduction to the reader? Have you proofread the intro? I doubt it will create a good impression on the examiner. TA – where are the relevant examples? How can you convince/persuade the reader to agree with you? But you deal with the question well because everything you write about is targeted at children// CC – there is certainly evidence of cohesion but both paras 2 & 3 consist of 2 & 3 sentences respectively// LR – just enough collocation. The wrong way & another thing do not belong in formal writing// G – faulty punctuation has to limit the band.// So, Id say: TA – 7 (slightly generous?)// CC – 6 (but Im tempted to say 7)// LR – 7 (just)// G – 7 (closer to 6 than 8 because of punctuation)// = 7.0 (6,5 if you are unlucky).
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