This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
With the advent of the leading edge technology, a human interaction has been experiencing tremendous changes. As a result, this ever-increasing trend has already had a negative impact on the types of relationships people have. This essay will show some of the ways the human interaction has been affected and suggest several reasons to consider this as a welcome development.
In the face of how beneficial the technology has become in people?s lives, there are several plausible counters to this. Having been invented, the advanced technology capacitated human beings to keep in touch with each other even through the remote distance; however, this is a double-edged sword as it has continuously been affecting relationships, creating a wide gap between people. For a case in point, according to a poll conducted by Socio-solve ? an organization helping to maintain the social communication ? almost 60% of interviewees were showing the activeness in the use of technology as the main reason for the break-up with their soulmates. Thus, it further fortifies the view that the arrival of technology has had numerous negative ramifications on the types of relationships which would, otherwise, be cemented.
Granted, it has now been deemed harmful to have a relationship through the virtual world, this, on the other hand, does have benefits in the favour of businessmen. This is mainly because, almost two decades ago, it would have been unimaginable to have a business meeting via Skype or other sundry applications. On top of that, if the entrepreneurs had their job done by means of a technology without having to attend the meeting hall, this would result in saving tremendous amounts of time, which could be spent on other significant works. A good example is a company called iBoard in my hometown where the businessmen always rely on the technology to have a business relationship with their partners, hence having an effective time schedule in their office. Therefore, it is certainly a positive development on the account of benefits the business world is gaining.
In conclusion, having the technology interfered with the relationships is considered as the welcoming upheaval in light of betterments in a business communication, albeit with some downsides such as losing touch with each other. It is my fervent hope that with a much closer attention, the negative reverberations of the current trend will fall entirely away.
(389Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
In the introduction how can you claim this ever-increasing trend has already had a negative impact without having offered any evidence yet they say and suggest several reasons to consider this as a welcome development.? There are also 3 article errors in the introduction. It is easy to believe you wrote this in 35 min. Slapdash. Lack of control is particularly evident in para 2, starting with and suggest several reasons to consider this as a welcome development., which doesnt work in this context. TA – para 2 is far too general in its approach. Why do you use 2nd conditional in para 3 when you are writing about something that regularly takes place (Skype business meetings)? The conclusion is dire// CC – para 3 is much better than para 2 but I feel the band is borderline// LR – borderline too as some of the writing is atrocious on account of your word choice (you have gone over the top with thesaurus). But collocation is evident// LR – the only noticeable frequent error is with articles. These cannot be regarded as native speaker slips so 8 is not possible even though some sections could be 9// So, I;d say : TA – 7 (just – despite the intro & conclusion// CC – 7 (just)// LR – 7 (because of quantity, not quality// G – 7 (would be 8+ without the article errors)// = 7.0 (6.5 wouldnt surprise me)
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