This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
In many countries schools have severe problems with students behavior.
What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Pupils? behavior is considered to be important problem in this modern era. Institutes in a number of countries are facing this undesirable response from their adolescents. However, there is no denying that it does exist. There are various factors behind this and, off course a number of appropriate approaches also exist to tackle the situation.
One major behind this unacceptable behavior is lack of communication with their parents. Their families spend most of the time doing other unnecessary activities, which in result tend them to spend time with their friends instead. Secondly, schools nowadays are busy giving education only related to their course rather than moral values of society and teachers, this trend might affect their mentality. Finally, many of the schools prefer to give severe punishments to their students for their unpardonable activities in schools and incomplete homework.
Turning to its solutions, the situation can be dealt from different angles. Firstly, their parents should spend their precious time with their children not only this but, guide and teach them various things to deal with their teachers in schools and maintain schools? decorum, because they are very first teachers of their own children. Secondly, institutes must deliver lectures about the ethics, because study shows that ?what they seek in between one to three years of age will remain in their minds for life time?. Finally, instead of treating them as sinners by giving physical punishments to their young pupils, school management should deal in a right manner and teach them with their core of hearts.
In conclusion, students? rough behavior does really exist because of few mistakes of their parents and the teachers, but can be solved with valuable contributions of their families and teachers too.
(283Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
In the introduction you dont say what you are going to do in the essay.However, there is no denying that it does exist. – what is the purpose of this sentence in the intro? TA – you deal with the question very well but the lack of specific relevant examples prevents a high band (doing other unnecessary activities?)// CC – firstly/secondly/finally = 6. You should know this from feedback on other posts & work on cohesion// LR – there is adequate collocation but also phrases a native speaker would not use// G – there are a few clumsy sections but nothing terrible. Yet an examiner cant see a great range of grammar patterns.// So, Id say: TA – 7 (a bit generous?)// CC – 6// LR – 7//G – 7// = 7.0 (6.5 wouldnt surprise me).
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
- IELTS Mock Test British Council
- Overall Band Score Calculator
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