This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Complimentary treatments are being practiced and exploited nowadays despite having no approved therapeutic effects yet. In addition, this may cause a serious problem to those utilizing it. Although I agree that these ways of treatment are ineffective, I do not think that considering this as an option may put someones health to peril.
First and foremost, the alternative forms of medicine are methods of healing a patients disease or illness without consulting a physician. These are acupuncture, herbalism, and for some are those superstitious beliefs from our ancestors. I have been a Cardiac ICU nurse for more than 2 years already and handled patients who utilized alternative forms of medicine. To give you an example, one of my patients enjoyed acupuncture. Based from his experience, this kind of alternative did not completely take away the pain on his shoulder. However for some reasons, he kept on coming back for acupuncture since it gave a temporary relief from pain and made him relaxed and comfortable.
On the the other hand, our ancestors have lived longer enough without the acceptable methods of treating illnesses at the present time such as visiting hospitals for consultation, blood extractions to monitor electrolyte levels, undergoing X-rays, CT scans, MRIs and a lot more. When it comes to people living in rural areas, they are still using herbalism to treat their illnesses while other people believes on superstitions like a person has to let a cat scratch his throat when he accidentally ingested a fishbone. Why? It is because these people does not have an easy access to healthcare. These people has not been immersed in modern and technological ways of treating diseases and more often cannot afford to pay hospital bills. Statistically speaking, I havent heard any news yet of someones life put on risk due to these alternative ways of treatment.
To sum up, although use of alternative forms of medicine are ineffective, considering this as an option may not be dangerous.
(324Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
I do not understand the value of choosing a topic that is in some way related to your work. Of course, a strong band for vocabulary is expected. TA – you write this may cause a serious problem as a statement (rather than someones opinion) in the introduction yet you also state I do not think that considering this as an option may put someones health to peril, which is a direct contradiction. I cannot see the relevance of para 3 to the question, Your example is a superstition, not complimentary treatments.Also, these people does not have an easy access to healthcare. is not true in my context but as you do not state which country/culture you are writing about, I am left feeling confused. And your conclusion is alternative forms of medicine are ineffective despite you having written acupuncture… gave a temporary relief from pain and made him relaxed and comfortable. My band decision is primarily because I can;t find where you clearly state to what extent you agree.disagree// CC – Why On the the other hand, to begin para 3? These prevents strong band despite you having good use of cohesion// LR – excellent// G – this has too many very basic slips to achieve a really high band ( people believes, etc). There is a noticable problem with dependent prepositions ( life put on risk/ believes on/ Based from)// So, Id say: TA – 6 (might me 5)// LR – 7// LR – 8 (some words are not precise enough, as in the intro)// G – 7// = 7.0.
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