This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Government should pay more money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 6 Answer
In the recent years, transportation system is not only getting importance but also developing at a rapid rate. Owing to this reason, Government is also trying to improve transportation system through mega projects on railways and roads. However, the government should work to develop more railways compared to roads. In my opinion, spending on roads would be more beneficial compared to roads. There are many reasons behind this thought and are listed here.
Firstly, roads due to large number of vehicles cause various issues as traffic jam, rush in peak hours, and noise. For example, during the morning time, many people on the roads get stuck due to heavy load of vehicles and also use horn to attain attention of others which cause noise. On the other hand, railways not only avoid nose problem but also cause not traffic jam.
Secondly, railways produce less air pollution compared to vehicles on the roads. There are lots of air emissions due to heavy traffic on the roads as most of the people use individual vehicles while travelling. This problem can be avoided easily by using railways which carry large number of people on single unit and also cause less pollution.
Finally, railways also save money as large number of people travel on a single train which reduces money use on fuel as well as on payment of taxes when compared with cars on roads.
To sum up, due to technological advancement and development in the different areas, there is a need to improve transportation system. Therefore, government should pay more attention on building railways rather than on roads.
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
In my opinion, spending on roads would be more beneficial compared to roads? Have you proofread the essay? What band can you expect to get when writing like this? And there are major article errors in the introduction. TA – your conclusion is government should pay more attention on building railways rather than on road but there is no development of a logical argument. Where are the relevant examples that are always required in T2? You mention government but do not say which country/context you are writing about// CC – firstly/secondly/finally = mechanical use of linking. But there is some evidence of cohesion in para 2. Is para 4 a paragraph?// LR – collocation is minimal and Id like more use of carrier nouns to guide the reader// G – the writing gives a sense of cut & paste and puzzles me. Para 2 is very basic with a dreadful error (but also cause not traffic jam) but other sections are much more sophisticated and the main weakness is in articles. Its as if 2 different people wrote the essay// So, Id say: TA – 6 (close to 5)// CC – 6//LR – 7 (close to 6)// G – 7// = 6.5 (but much closer to 6.0 than 7.0).
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