This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Without capital punishment ( the death penalty ) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
A death penalty as a way of declining bloodshed criminality in community has always been a prior topic for governments. Some people think that it is the most favorable preventive law, while others argue that it is unjust in terms of taking second chances to be a good citizenship in future.
On the one hand, despite tough laws required by governments an average number of crimes is ascending. A law requiring only some years of imprisonment, but no death sentence for offence contributes the criminal violence. The probability to be put to capital punishment may threat people and create safer society to live.
On the other hand, every criminal should be provided with second chance no matter what type of crime he committed and what punishment he has been sentenced. Executive bodies have to be engaged in releasing such lawbreakers into society. Numerous examples can be presented when wrongdoers mend their ways after having been sentenced. Moreover, there is no credible statistical evidence that capital punishment reduces the number of homicides. In contrast, the average number of crimes in countries embracing capital punishment is more than those which abolish it. Therefore, a death penalty is not the mere solution to deter the increasing trend of crimes in a society.
In conclusion, despite the fact that capital punishment builds a secure community, it may contribute to the emperor of fear as well. It is predicted that the more strict laws are imposed, the more people are inclined to commit a crime of violence.
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
The introduction is rather clumsy in style & lacks a thesis statement. TA – your answer is well-argued but there are no examples and it is not clearly stated “to what extent” you agree/disagree”// CC – far to basic. The short paragraphs don’t allow you to develop ideas// LR – there’s plenty of collocation & awareness of register. It is unfortunate about the introduction// G – there’s a mixture of very sophisticated sentences alongside others that look like translation (The probability to be put to capital punishment may threat people and create safer society to live). You don’t have total control over articles.
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6
// CC- 6
// LR – 8
// G – 7
//Overall = 7.0 (the emperor of fear ???).
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