This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 8 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Many animal species are becoming extinct as a result of human activities.what are the causes and possible solutions to this problem?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 8 Answer
Many animal species are becoming extinct nowadays,mainly,as deforestation and crop farming.This is a worrying phoenomenon, which needs to be tackled as a priority by governments and individuals.This essay will discuss major causes and possible solutions to this issue.
Humans are fully responsible for extinction of precious animal species in many ways. Firstly, through deforestation they are destroying the natural habitat of various animals. As the world’s population is growing rapidly, there is an inevitable need to cut down trees in order to construct new residential buildings. As a result, many forests are being converted into towns and villages.Another reason behind animal extinction is over-hunting of animals .In many countries hunting is legal and people are daily killing animals just for enterrainment.The consequence of these activities is a severe decline in wild life population.
Turning to possible solutions, the best approach would be for the government to deter people from clearing out trees and forests for personal benefits, like building homes and commercial markets. Therefore, the government should provide proper housing and residential apartments to all its citizens, which seems to be the only solution to accommodate a growing number of population. In addition, there should be a law against intensive farming practice in agriculture. Finally, the government must declare hunting of animals illegal, and the offenders should be heavily fined or punished. If all these measures are taken immediately, there is a great chance to save the wild life from becoming extinct.
To sum up, human beings are mainly responsible for destruction of forest and wild life . However, there are a number of measures that can be taken to deal with this problem.It is hoped that, in the future, the government and individuals will give more attention to this issue.
(289Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 8 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
A ‘sensible’ introduction but there is a missing word. TA – this is strong answer but would benefit from specific examples// CC – you use quite a lot of basic conjunctions but there is a sense of development in the essay. There is some (a little) use if cohesion// LR – excellent. But a couple of typos prevent 9// G – as with LR, this looks faultless with a variety of sentence patterns. But more complex sentence patterns could be included and I can see one word order slip (” people are daily killing animals”)
So, I’d say:
//TA – 7
// CC – 8 (just)
// LR – 8 (9 if no errors – but I don’t like “a great chance”)
// G – 8 (one slip away from 9. I feel the one mistake is not a native speaker slip)
//Overall = 8.0.
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