This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Television is dangerous because it has destroyed the family living and communication. Some people say that it absorbs people’s time too much that they have no time to talk to each other. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 6 Answer
I somewhat agree with the idea that TV is harmful to humankind and it has resulted in ruining the family life and interaction among them. Moreover, it is asserted by some people that TV wastes great deal of time, therefore, people fall short of time to communicate with each other.
The present era is the most innovative because of the wonderful inventions. TV is mostly proposed for debates and the debaters argue that our family life is destroyed and it is also causing us lack of interaction with the globe. Massive TV programmes present vulgar and obscene material for rating and their revenue generation which undoubtedly have dire consequences for family living. Furthermore, the couch potatoes keep on wasting their time before TV and stay away from engagement in social situations.
Conversely, TV is not the only invention of this modern era. Users around the globe are always busy with the social networking websites, namely; Facebook, Twitter, Instegram, YouTube and many others. In the case of family values and communication among them, these social networking sites play a vital role in segregating us from each other and the family living falls in value due to indecent material available on them. Therefore, I suggest that not only TV is responsible for the disastrous consequences. For instance, there are groups on Facebook with thousands of members that entertain users with ties of friendship services, which devalues the adult education and modesty of users. Hence, they never care for family living and communication with their loved ones.
To conclude, I would reiterate that merely television should not be blamed for the catastrophic family life of populace today. If we sustain the overall media as a part of our life and the modern inventions and advancements continue to take place, this world can experience poor family values and lack of communication among people even further.
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
TA – in the introduction paraphrase the question (“TV is harmful to humankind “???) and tell the reader what you are going to do (thesis statement). The topic is ‘communication’ but the way you introduce social media takes you off topic// CC – para 2 is a series of statements rather than a developed argument. Para 3 has evidence of cohesion so CC band is ‘borderline’.Paragraphing is logical// LR – it is difficult to decide how much of the vocabulary is related to ‘family communication’ I’d like more carrier nouns. There is probably sufficient evidence of collocation (. responsible for the disastrous consequences. /their loved ones/etc)// G – there are very few errors (articles & punctuation slips) but is there a wide range of grammar patterns? Paras 2 & 3 are mostly ‘statements’ which use present tenses (could you include more modal verbs?). I like the conclusion. Why do you think that is? Verb patterns are accurate
So I’d say:
//TA – 5
// CC – 6 (7 is possible but I feel more ‘crafting’ is needed)
// LR – 7
// G – 8
//Overall = 6.5 (7,0 is a slight possibility. Do you feel 9 is possible in G with a little more care/thought?)
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