IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer #61

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This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.

Write a minimum of 250 words.

Sample Band 6 Answer

It is commonly believed by many people that traditional method of teaching subject’s like history in schools is the most recommended one. Though there are other people who disagree with the idea and believes in developing skills in children. In my opinion, I completely agree with the fact that developing skills at the very early stages of learning in schools will definitely help beginners to get good job in future.

Firstly, schools are the first learning site for young children so whatever guidance is given from there children will follow them. Secondly, giving proper orientation to skill building in schools not only help young minds to select the one they are best at but also help them in choosing their careers. Like for example, if a young child interested in painting is motivated at school for building his painting skills, he will surely become artist in future.

Another point that one can made is that schools are always famous for building competition skills. As students learn different skills they will start competing with each other and finally will become more and more brighter at the one they have learnt. In other words, it will help them in securing their future by getting a handsome salary job.

At present, most of the schools are spending ore time on teaching simple literature subjects like history or geography though they can be easily learnt at home by giving simple assignments. Therefore, valuable classroom’s time can be spent in a much more productive way. In this way, children will also get a chance to learn from each other.

In conclusion, the most efficient and easiest way of utilization of time in schools is by skill building. It will give individual the future directions for his career.

(288Words)

This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.

Examiner Feedback

TA – you paraphrase the q quite well in the introduction but perhaps shift the focus of the q slightly. Thesis statement? It seems to me that you have either misinterpreted the question or not given it adequate thought. What do you mean by ‘skills’? The q is “skills that can help students find a job” but you have no “relevant examples”. Studying history develops analytical skills. Other subjects foster more practical skills. Any kind of study can develop ” competition skills” depending on how it is taught. You don’t help the reader, who has to guess what you mean// CC – “firstly/secondly/ another point” = mechanical & para 3 contains 3 quite short sentences so doesn’t really develop an argument. But both paragraphs have elements of cohesion so you could easily improve in this area/// LR – sorry but I don’t see enough ‘strong’ collocation to convince me you have control over vocabulary. “. spent in a much more productive way/ get a chance to learn from each other./securing their future” are good but “utilization of time/handsome salary job/competition skills” are not so CC is ‘borderline’// G – there is a good range of grammar patterns but also some very basic errors including articles and even a missing verb plus a punctuation slip
So, I’d say
:// TA – 6 (could be 5 if the examiner isn’t patient)
// CC – 6 (7 if you are very lucky)
// LR – 7 (I am being very kind)
// G – 7
//Overall = 6.5 (but closer to 6.0 than 7.0).
This isn’t a terrible result but make sure you know what the examiner is looking for in TA/CC/LR/GRA. You have to have “reasons and relevant examples” to get 7 in TA.Sorry the reply is late but other teachers aren’t contributing at the moment.

Well, this are the essay sample for band 6. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.

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