This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 6 Answer
Every moment world is achieving newer informations on countless fields like science commerce, education or so on. Admittedly, all the recent improvements are established on the basis of older theories and documents. Therefore, sharing updated versions can open wide range of opportunities to the upcoming generation. On the contrary, couples of knowledges are developed to be protected for the sake of mankind as well. Aftermath of discussions on both sides my stance will be clear.
Inevitably, this world is advancing following the footprints of earlier studies. If Newton would not have discovered his historical law of force, modern scientists might not think about sending spaceships to the space even. As business tycoons like Bill Gates have shared their struggle in life, young entrepreneurs don’t loose their hope even after facing failures in their own fields. World managed to defeat epidemics of newer viral strands only because technology helped spreading the remedies across the vulnerable countries. Such examples always encourage us interchanging knowledges relentlessly.
Although, exchanging information has been proved worthy in different fields, one group of people believes some materials should be kept classified. For instance, Apple is undisputedly an unique and successful company all over the world who keeps its authentic designs protected to maintain their standard. In case of education, countless courses are available nowadays to study in, but all of them are not enclosed to every student because relevant grooming up is required to learn specific subjects. Unless that, it might cause serious threat to humanity even. If an inappropriately qualified person works for atomic energy plant, it can destroy one entire civilization. So , clearly, some information is better to be saved from being generalised.
After discussing both the views, I would like to put myself in the flexible zone as it is clarified that there is no negotiations with the secrecy of some data and some are just opposite. Someone cannot draw a fine line in between. In regards to maintain world peace, one international policy should be adopted for data protection that will decide which is for sharing and which not.
(344Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
There are noticeable article errors in the introduction and I don’t understand your use of “admittedly”. Then “aftermath” shows you are being overambitious and lack control of language. In fact an examiner could grade CC/LR/G by only reading the introduction in this case. Keep introductions simple. TA – I don;t understand the relevance of para 2, especially the Bill Gates example. In the introduction you write “my stance will be clear.” but the conclusion is “I would like to put myself in the flexible zone “?????// CC – para 2 is a series of examples but not really linked or integrated. Para 3 is much better until “Unless that”, which does not make sense// LR – there is plenty of strong collocation and with more control/thought a higher band is possible but “aftermath”, ” not enclosed to every student because relevant grooming up is required” and “flexible zone” cost you a band// G – your problem with articles has to limit the band. You have problems when you attempt a 3rd conditional in para 2. There are a few other ‘clumsy’ errors
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6 (I feel I’m being generous)
// CC – 6
// LR – 7 (close to 8)
// G – 7 (closer to 6 than 8)
//Overall = 6.5.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 6. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
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