This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Prevention is better than cure”.Out of country’s health budget,a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on preventive measures.
To what extend do you agree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Health related problems have always been a centre of focus for all the societies.I believe the old is saying certainly true; “prevention is better than cure “.It is strongly recommended that money should be mainly invested in preventive measures rather than treatment and investigations of the diseases.
First of all, treatment and investigation of a disease is undoubtedly an expensive process.Medicines are very costly and the tests advised by the doctor are even more.Not only this,hospital admission fee consumes a huge amount of money.However,if all this money is spent on those measures that can help prevent the illness, the result would be far better.And also, these measures do not require a handsome amount of money.Take diabetes as an example,the ways in which people can protect themselves against it are quite simple and cheap.Doing regular excercise and consuming a low-calorie diet is a solution to prevent it.Hence, it is evident that spending money on preventing measures is enormously beneficial when compared to spending on treatment of a disease.
Secondly, money spent on treatment is sometimes virtually wasted as many diseases do not even respond to medications.Looking in detail, there are many serious complications that arise as a result of a particular disease,that cannot be sometimes cured even with costly medicines.Lung Cancer illustrates an excellent example of such cases.People suffering from this cancer have to undergo various dangerous procedure and need extremely expensive medicines.But, despite this recovery rate is very low.On the contrary,if all this money is spent on preventive steps such as, raising awareness about harmful effects of smoking,people would avoid smoking.
To conclude, the best way to fight any disease is by investing in its prevention.Once some acquires an illness,it becomes difficult to treat it and afford all the expenses.
(287Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – .It is strongly recommended – who recommends? Why use then passive? Where do you clearly state “to what extent” you agree/disagree? Thankfully, you weave your view into the main body// CC – there is a flow but also far too many necessary basic conjunctions// LR – this is weak in places (admission fee consumes a huge amount of money/a handsome amount of / acquires an illness) but excellent when you write on medical matters (I can guess why)// G – there are minor punctuation faults
So, I’d say:
//TA – 8
// CC – 6 (could easily jump up with care)
// LR – 7 (I don’t feel “handsome amount” deserves 8, but it might)
//G – 8
//Overall = 7.0.
You have a lot of potential but at the same time I don’t feel this is a particularly “authentic” question.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
- IELTS Writing Task 1
- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
- IELTS Mock Test British Council
- Overall Band Score Calculator
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