This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
It is widely believed that it is more favorable for big industrial firms to relocate their business from urban to rural areas. This essay will first demonstrate that an analysis of how the primary disadvantage associated with a poor internet connection, is not valid, followed by the major advantages such as the possibility of employing rural job seekers for lower salaries and the availability of raw materials to show that the drawbacks of this are overshadowed by its benefits.
There are certain drawbacks that the idea of transferring business brims with. The primary downside is that the Internet connection in a new area may be so unreliable that the trades of a company can be adversely affected. In other words, many companies located outside the large city centers might find it difficult to advertise their products online due chiefly to the limited internet access. However, if there are some other means of spreading their goods, it is only a matter of finance to advertise.
Those opposed to this say that it is wildly beneficial for large organizations to move outside the cities. This is mainly because, if companies were situated outside the metropolitan area, this would mean that those firms would have an opportunity to hire local job hunters for the lower amount of wage, which would inevitably benefit both people and companies, thus reducing the unemployment rate. Apart from this, an easy access to the raw materials available in the rural areas can be an additional benefit since the organizations would have raw material surpluses. For example, one of the international companies called Aramark had to relocate its headquarters outside of Philadelphia and that turned out to be an ideal location as it offered a direct access to a wood that could have been unavailable in their previous location. Therefore, it makes sense for many businesses to be situated nearer their required sources.
As has been shown, although having access to the Internet could be challenging, the demerits of relocating larger industrial firms outside the towns are eclipsed by its merits on account of the potential benefit for staff and a strong accessibility to basic materials.
(354Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – there is too much information in the introduction (and in one sentence!). Example in para 2? You don’t fully explain the ” potential benefit for staff “// CC – good, but the long clumsy sentences prevent a higher band// LR – “a wood” is a grammar point but causes considerable confusion to the reader. Do you understand why? It would be unfair to say that any of your word choice or collocation was not ‘natural’ (apart from “demerits”, perhaps). There is one US spelling but that is not an issue// G – minor punctuation slips (noticeably in the intro). There is a range of grammar patterns but I wouldn’t say they were ‘skillfully used;. “a strong accessibility” is an article error
So, I’d say:
// TA – 7
// CC – 7
//LR – 8 (not 9 because of “trades”)
// G – 8 (closer to 7 than 9)
//Overall = 7.5 (trades???).
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
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- Overall Band Score Calculator
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